Thursday, December 29, 2011

2011 ---> 2012


回首2011年,看着自己设下的目标,到底有多少个达成了,有多少个放弃了,有多少个在进行中,有多少个失败了

然后再回首2011年里自己做了什么,经历了什么,学到了什么,看到了什么

工作上,上半年可以说是遇到了一些瓶颈,然后接受了前往迪拜工作半年的合约,希望来到这里可以转换心情,然后突破自己面对的那瓶颈,但是,最后好像还是卡着没法突破。再多给自己一些时间吧,希望明年能够找到自己想做的,要做的,然后有一番作为

家庭上,没什么改变。僵持的关系依然僵持,好的关系依然完好今年的自己也许逃避了许许多多的问题,也许真的是时候要好好正视了?

2011年,发现自己最常问的问题是“我到底在做什么?这是我要的生活吗?”

今晚开始就没能上网了,也许要等到11号或2号才能够上网吧。也许这是一件好事,让自己可以静下心来,好好的窥看自己到底想要什么。

2012年的展望?详细的就不多说了,总而言之,我希望2012年会是我开始正视自己,追求梦想的一年。真的不想为了赚钱,每天过着机器人般的生活。我要活出自己的人生,自己的未来。

祝愿大家新年快乐。

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

圣诞夜

今年的圣诞有一点不一样
因为在一个没有飘雪的冬天里度过
因为在一段疲累中度过
因为在一段旅行中度过
因为只身在国外度过
因为不是一个人默默的度过...
明年的圣诞节...期待中。

Saturday, December 24, 2011

平安夜

结束了一段摄影风潮
打算这几天好好的整理一下自己的写作
然后是时候开始放多一些心思在吉他上
总觉得有些忽略了他
是时候开始挑战自己的音乐造化了
平安夜?
没什么,只是另一个独自度过的夜晚
仅此而已。

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Recently

Things that I want to do...
Things that I need to do...
Things that I wish to do...
Things just getting pile up like a mountain

Recently, feeling myself rather "messy"
Everything seems to be out of control
Everything seems to be so un-organised
Nothing seems to be right

Well, have to keep my feet on the ground anyway
Try to get things done slowly
One by one, step by step
And hope everything will turn out fine soon

Sunday, December 18, 2011

最近

最近没什么特别,还是那样...
忙着工作,忙着胡思乱想
也不知道为什么,最近突然有许多的创作灵感
不知道应该开心还是不开心
毕竟自己真的没时间...

另外,表姐出嫁了...
未能参加她的婚礼,有一点惋惜
毕竟这是难得能够和全部亲戚朋友相聚的日子
自己却得一个人呆在这里...
不过往好的方面想...就是自己不必回答他们“有没有女朋友”这样的问题了

突然有一股冲动,想要放下一切
带着我的吉他和相机到处遨游
然后把一点一滴都写下来。
如果这能够转换为我的职业...那该有多好啊?
究竟这终究会只是一个梦,还是...会...

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

我。时区的过客


穿梭在一个又一个不同的时区
时差不断变更,季节不断变换
唯一没有改变的是背井离乡的这一事实
也许自己已经默默的恋上了这种生活也说不定
自由自在,独来独往,毫无顾虑,不是很好吗?
虽然说已经习惯了这种飘荡的生活
但是,人还是会有渴望着回家的时候
还是会渴望着停泊在一个避风港
一想到这里,心就开始慌,开始乱了
也许常年在外的奔波,身心都开始觉得疲惫了吧
也许离乡背井那么多年,是时候倦鸟归巢了吧
在自己的家,在自己选择的避风港,在与大家相同的时区里
就能够得到幸福吗?
就能够活得更好吗?
想到这里,人又开始却步了
总觉得进退两难似的
最后的最后,人还是那么的无助
独自畏缩在自己的时间与空间里
一个人苟且偷生苟且残存下去
原来,我只是另一个时区的过客
仅此而已...

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Children Who Chase Lost Voices from Deep Below 星を追う子ども


Well, even though the story titled as "Children who chase the star", but the whole story isn't really related to star at all. Anyway, this is the latest master piece by Makoto Shinkai, the director of "Byousoku 5cm", my all time favorite animation movie.

It is obvious that this time around he is using a different approach to tell his story. The story doesn't make me crying like "Byousoku 5cm", but this doesn't mean that the story is not touching. The graphic is still very nice, and so does the message Makoto Shinkai wants to deliver to everyone.

The meaning of life... the meaning of living... the meaning of death...

The story is started rather rapidly, pouring a lot of information for you to digest about the world and timeline of it... but soon it slows down to explain each and every of them, one by one. Everything is clearly told, the story, the character, the message... everything unfold slowly and gently. Although one may argue the storyline is a little "predictable", but the difference will be the how the whole message is being convey to the audience.

For those who have lost their love one... for those who are afraid of losing your love one... for those who are a little misserable about your life now... take a look into this movie and hopefully you will find that little special meaning inside like I did...

Here's the movie theme song and lyrics in chinese... hope you like it as well.


Hello, Goodby and Hello
熊木杏里
Hello Goodbye and Hello  與你相逢 現在與你離別
Hello Goodbye and Hello 然後向沒有你的這個世界 Hello
那個時候還不知道真正的 離別
漸漸破壞的心 一直在尋找著你
如果 你能聽見 有很多的話想告訴你
全心全意永遠讓你充滿笑容 許下誓言想留在你身邊

Hello Goodbye and Hello 與你相逢 現在與你離別
Hello Goodbye and Hello 然後向沒有你的這個世界 Hello
在喜歡上你的時候 已經踏上了 旅程
Hello Goodbye and Hello 永遠把你 記住在心裡
Hello Goodbye and Hello 然後 沿著這條路繼續前進
不想失去願望 是最遠的那一顆星 天空遼闊就如明天
雖然漫無邊際 但我想伸出雙手
“Hello Goodbye and Hello 與你相逢 現在與你離別
Hello Goodbye and Hello 然後向沒有你的這個世界 Hello”

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

私の物語 Ver. 5.5

As year end approach... many things starting to run in my mind
Many things need to think about and consider about...
As when new year comes, I need to start and make things right
So no matter it is life, work, relations or anything else...
I think a lot recently... and I haven't really find the way out yet
Hopefully everything will sort out soon... step by step

For those who realized, I have changed the "Labels" of all my post
Now only left 6 major labels for all my posts
And the Navigation Tab has been changed as well
No more "My Stories", "My Gunpla" and "My Photography" page there
Well, it's not that I abandoned those pages... well, you'll see
Anyway, my personal background page is still available there
Some renovation and revamp of all my stuff on the internet has been done
Phase 1 and 2 has already completed... now need to get phase 3 kick start
Hopefully by end of this week everything can settle down a little
Have been feeling tired recently, not sure why... hope won't fall sick

Friday, December 2, 2011

就这样...十二月来临了

十二月...说时迟,那时快
就这样,一年又过去了
好像什么都没做到就过去了
时间,岁月...真的很无情啊
回顾自己在今年给自己设下的目标与计划
到底有多少个目标已经达成了呢?
到底有多少个计划已经实行了呢?
虽然达成的目标并不多
但是决定实行的计划基本都在进行中
那么,接下来就是要和自己进行一段最真实的谈话
剖析这一年来的自己...
然后,希望能够有个更好的计划和目标
好让自己在2012年里...能够继续昂首前进

Thursday, November 24, 2011

One Day



Today, in the year of 2011… what have you done?
Today, in the year of 2010… what have you done?
Today, in the year of 2009…
Today, in the year of 2008…
2007…
2006…

It makes you wonder awhile, doesn’t it?

“One Day” is a movie of love story, a story between a guy and a girl, and what had happened between them on 15 of July, starting from 1988 until 2011. Every year, their life changes, and so does their relationship as well. From good friends to ordinary friends… from loving to hating each other… from regretting to finally getting together… the things that are changing were not just their relations, also their life, their view, their mindset and their relations with others…

After watching the movie, it really makes me think awhile… what am I doing last year on today? And what was it for the previous years? I can’t really recall, but I do think that when that comes together, I will be able to see the changes of me as well, year after year.

I wonder… in years to come… today…
What will I be doing? Where will I be living? Will I even like my life? And how far will I go…

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Non-work related target in Dubai

Produce a book of myself... DONE
Produce a time-lapse video... DONE
Produce some nice picture in Dubai... DONE
Produce a new story... IN PROGRESS
Improve my guitar skills... NOT MUCH PROGRESS
Improve my photography skills... SLOWLY IN PROGRESS
Work out more and stay healthy... DIDN'T REALLY WORK OUT A LOT
"Dream chasing" trip... PLANNING IN PROGRESS

Saturday, November 19, 2011

冠军


《冠军》...可以说是韩国电影久违的一套佳作。
故事讲述的,是人与人之间的爱,亲人之间的爱,人与动物之间的爱
一个失去视力的骑士和一个跛了脚的赛马
它成为了他的眼睛,他成为了它的动力
他和它因为一场意外而相遇,因为一场意外而心连心
他失去了他心爱的妻子,而它失去了它心爱的儿子
这对不可能的组合,造就了不可能的传奇,完成了不可能的任务
改编至真实故事...这,绝对是值得一看,赚人热泪的感动之作。

Saturday, November 12, 2011

星空


最近看了这部电影...《星空》。
原来是几米绘本改编的故事。这是一部值得一看的电影,从拍摄手法,到故事铺排都做得很不错。虽然故事是一贯的青春爱情剧,但是还是隐约的被这部影片给吸引着。

也许是因为自己曾经也写过几篇关于星空的文章吧...但是绝对无法和五月天的“星空”比拟的,他们写的词实在是太棒了。
也许是因为自己对故事里头的情节深感同受吧...

身边有再多的人,但是却没有一个可以交心的对象。
身边有再多的幸福,却还是会忍不住抬头望着寂寞的星空。

在人生这一幅拼图里,我...始终在寻找着缺掉的,遗失的那一块...好让我能够把这幅拼图...变得完整。

虽然不是什么催泪作品,但是还是能够引人深思,同时也许会唤醒你内心深处某段埋藏的回忆吧。希望大家也会喜欢这部电影,同时好好品尝这首主题曲吧...



星空 
五月天 

摸不到的颜色 是否叫彩虹
看不到的拥抱 是否叫做微风
一个人 想着一个人
是否就叫寂寞 

命运偷走如果 只留下结果
时间偷走初衷 只留下了苦衷
你来过 然后你走后
只留下星空

那一年我们望着星空
有那么多的灿烂的梦
以为快乐会永久
像不变星空 陪着我 

猎户 天狼 织女光年外沉默
回忆 青春 梦想何时偷偷陨落
我爱过 然后我沉默
人海里漂流 

那一年我们望着星空
未来的未来从没想过
当故事失去美梦 美梦失去线索
而我们失去联络
这一片无言无语星空
为什么静静看我泪流
如果你在的时候
会不会伸手 拥抱我 

细数繁星闪烁 细数此生奔波
原来所有 所得 所获 不如一夜的星空
空气中的温柔 回忆你的笑容
彷佛只要伸手 就能触摸 

摸不到的颜色 是否叫彩虹
看不到的拥抱 是否叫做微风
一个人 习惯一个人
这一刻独自望着星空
从前的从前从没变过
寂寞可以是忍受 也可以是享受
享受仅有的拥有
那一年我们望着星空
有那么多的灿烂的梦
至少回忆会永久
像不变星空 陪着我
最后只剩下星空
像不变回忆 陪着我

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

我的书,我的故事 ~ 私の物語


也许对许多人来说,这...是很无聊的事吧
一个得空没事做的人才会去做的事情
无论如何
我,制作了一本书
一本完全属于我自己的书
里面摘录了一些我曾在这部落格里发布的文章
当中也加插了一些新的文章和图片
嘛...总而言之,这算是人生的一个里程碑的标志吧
有兴趣的人,不妨下载来看看吧

在这里,必须谢谢身边的每一个人
没有你们,就没有今天的我
没有你们,也许我也走不到这么遥远
我还得对身边的每一个人说声对不起
请原谅我的任性,请宽恕我的过错

希望我们能在某个时间与空间交错的未来
相遇,相拥,相见,甚至相爱吧...

点击阅读 - 私の物語
P/S: 仅供阅读,请勿滥用或更改本书内容。谢谢。

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Colorful


Just watched this movie titled "Colorful"...
A story about a boy who committed suicide, and was given a second chance to live his life again in order to make things right...
Throughout the story, the boy has learn the meaning of friendship, family, love and most importantly, the meaning of living...
A slow pace story, but indeed it is nicely done...
To watch this movie this time around really brings some great meaning to me...
A very touching story about life...
It makes you think again the life you are having now...
And how you should continue for the rest of the journey...
I think is time for me to sit down and think about the life that I want to live...
Hopefully... it will be "colorful"...

Saturday, October 29, 2011

张信哲 - 花季未了

最近心情都在低谷徘徊
为什么?很多原因吧...
那天,在电视机里偶然看见了这MV...
情歌王子的歌声又再一次的触动了我的心灵
这首歌的歌词,完全描绘了我现在的心情...
看来,这几天的我会反复的听着这首歌曲吧...
希望...能够在这深渊里...得到一点点的安慰与温暖...

张信哲 - 花季未了 
填词:许常德 作曲:郭蘅祈

我想要的你却给不了
爱情至今只剩下拥抱
我感觉你想逃 我却放不掉
麻烦你来 陪我苦恼 

我想爱的我拥有不了
缘份强求谁都受不了
昨天开的花朵 今天却谢了
伤心一朵 幸福一朵 知多少 

花季未了 你却走了 泪在掉
剩下的绽放 回忆里烧
花季未了 余情未了 直到天老
也许遗憾才让人生美好

我想忘的 早就该忘掉
誓言在昨天 已落幕了
有些戏太冗长 难懂难了
不如简单精彩就好 

花季未了 你却走了 泪在掉
剩下的绽放 回忆里烧
花季未了 余情未了 直到天老
也许遗憾才让人生美好

花季未了 人却散了 风在飘
何时再重逢 谁又知道
花季未了 天夜黑了 分分秒秒
相见离别都仍觉得 你最好

花季未了 余情未了 直到天老
也许遗憾才让人生美好


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

我…要快乐

戴上耳机,与世隔绝
躺在床上的我,听着歌,思绪放空
心,突然一阵刺痛
耳朵里传来的那句歌词,多么的讽刺

我并不是天生爱寂寞,却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我,我还是一无所有

张惠妹的《我要快乐》
短短两句,却唱到了我的心里
双手情不自禁的紧握
泪水渐渐的从眼角溢了出来

被单上被浸湿的痕迹,久久都未能干去
只有眼泪是真的歌词是这样的唱着

泪水总是伴随着孤单
其实乐观的想,孤单不是还有泪水做伴吗?
偶尔还会有寂寞和孤独来做客
一切并没有想像般的差吧?

把从前想了一遍,谢谢了伤我的人
谢谢你们让我学会了孤单,认识了孤独,熟悉了寂寞。因为

懂得孤单的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己不再孤单的人
懂得寂寞的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己不再寂寞的人
懂得孤独的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己不再孤独的人
懂得哭泣的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己展颜欢笑的人

就算最后有人陪伴在身边也好,独自一人也好
要快乐

Saturday, October 22, 2011

3rd week in Dubai...


3 weeks for now…
For life… everything has been settling down so far…
As what I usually said: I’m easily adapting to the environment
Work wise… still need to do some catch up
Need to get some of the things confirm as soon as possible in order to carry out my project
If not, my time will be wasted for doing nothing at all
Do I miss friends? Do I miss this? And do I miss that?
Honestly, I don’t know… I never really think about it
Maybe this is the better way for me not to stuck myself into home sick?
Anyway, live goes on…
Just hope that I can get something here…
And hope that I will get a clearer direction on what to do in my future…

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Getting closer to my L'20 dream...

Remember I talk about a dream which I'm about to achieve next year?
I mentioned about it before this in the old post...
Anyway, it's getting clearer...
And when things started to unfold, the dream seems to be getting closer...
And it seems to be within my reach now...
But at the same time... I'm starting to feel a little scare and worry...
What if I failed to catch this dream... even if it is so close to be grabbed...
I bet it will be a very great disappointment...
Just hope and pray that I really can achieve it next year...
Will try my best... and will give whatever it takes...
Well, in the end people might think that what I'm trying to achieve is stupid...
But... that's one of my dream...
And I have worked myself to achieve it... that's all matters...
Wish me luck...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

私の物語 Ver. 5.0

Yes, since the day I start blogging here in blogger, this is the 5th overhaul on the blog... I think I will settle down with this layout for some times before switching again. It has been a habit of mine to make some changes when there's changes in my life... either changing the profile picture or changing the blog template and layout & etc. This time around is still the same. 

It has been 2 weeks staying in Dubai for work transition... still in the mist of getting the project proposal ready for my boss's approval. Life here has so far been positive. Well, I'm just the kind of people who can adapt easily to change in environment, so it wouldn't be an issue for me whether to work in Malaysia or oversea.

And I'm just the kind of person that will not stop my brain from thinking... yes, there are some free time here since I'm not that "Active" in outdoor activity compared to back in Malaysia. So those free time has been spent to do a little bit of thinking. Thoughts that are mainly surrounding my jobs and life... I guess I will have to make some decisions in near future, and I'm still thinking on them...

Well, it's good to do some thinking sometimes, but it does make me feel dull, down and frustrated if over doing it. So I decided to grab myself a guitar by the end of this week and start picking up my guitar skills... and at the same time, diverting my mind from thinking too much on other things. Just hope that I can get a balance point between life, work, future and satisfaction even though I'm so far away from my friends and family.


A whole new profile picture
A whole new blog template
A whole new mindset
A whole new energy pumping in
And a whole new me to face all the up coming challenges...

Saturday, October 8, 2011

R.I.P. - Steve Jobs

Honestly, I must admit he changed the electronic world so much.
Honestly, I must admit that all the inventions from Apple are so tempting.
Honestly, I must admit I owned nothing branded under Apple before.

A man has departed to heaven, and what's left over is just memory.
I once read a story about this man from newspaper
A story about three stories he shared during a graduation ceremony

I found these stories are somehow inspiring
It makes you think twice... and think deep
And now, he has changed not just the world of electronics, but also our world of thinking as well...



I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.



Friday, October 7, 2011

a Week in Dubai

Nothing much happened so far...
Safely reached... everything seems organized here...
First impression on this place is: Skyscrapers and dust...
You will find these 2 elements covering 99% of Dubai...
Food is slightly more expensive than Malaysia...
Restaurant price tag are crazy here...
Other than that... nothing much really
Just working and earn a living...
It will be the same no matter where I am...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

一段旅途的结束,另一段旅程的开始

终于,上了最后一堂吉他课
不知道还要多久,我才能够在一次向他学习吉他
但是,这短暂的相遇,却真的是让我获益不浅
学习吉他的日子,就这样过了九个月
也就这样迎来了终结
这...或许只是意味着自习吉他的阶段的开始
若有机会,还真是希望再一次向蔡老师学习吉他

在倒数的日子里,还是如往常般...
劳累,精疲力尽
工作依然繁忙,还要忙着准备行李
也许这才是最好的吧...
因为这样就能分散我的精力,不会把它花在胡思乱想上

好的事情,最后终要结束
希望迎接我的未来...
会是另一个...好的事情...

Saturday, September 24, 2011

伍佰 - 泪桥


最近突然常听到这首歌...

算是伍佰大哥难得的慢歌...很有味道和感觉的一首歌。

无心过问你的心里我的吻
厌倦我的亏欠
代替你所爱的人
这个时候
我心落花一样飘落下来
顿时 我的视线
失去了色彩
知道你也一样不善于表白
想想你的相爱编织的谎言懈怠
甜美镜头
竟也落花一样飘落下来
从此 我的生命
变成了尘埃
寂寞的人
总是习惯寂寞的安稳
至少 我们直线 曾经交叉过
就像站在烈日骄阳大桥上
眼泪狂奔滴落在我的脸庞
~~~~~~~~~


Saturday, September 17, 2011

Home Alone

Home alone again...
It seems like I'm always home alone recently...
Maybe this is the chance God gave to me to get used to being all by myself
Anyway, don't worry about me, I'm alright even if I'm all alone...
Although it is unavoidable for me to become a little emo when I'm all by myself
But everything will be alright, yup... Things will get better, slowly
Running out of time... just hope everything will turn right as life goes on...
It's not that bad being all alone after all... since I'm too used to it
So... let's see what will happen in the future...

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

给蔡老师的信

昨天晚上,上了倒数第三堂的吉他课
因为老师教的一首歌弹了两个星期都还没练好
所以一进去就先向老师自首:“没什么进展呢,不要期望太高”
他只是笑笑,叫我快点弹

一切就像往常一样...他不断地纠正我弹错的地方...
“手要软一点...姿势不对...换弦快点...跟好拍子...”
弹着,他把一片guitar pick拿出来,示范弹了给我看
“学下用这个弹...这样捉住...弹轻一点...要快...”

一瞬间,感觉上好像许多的东西被灌输到脑海里
半个小时很快就过去了
临走之前,老师把我叫住了
“我在书店里看到一本书,四十多块,从浅到深的教你弹吉他,可以去看看...”

应了老师一声,我到书店里转了一下...
内心,切实的感受到了一股温暖
老师他看来似乎比我还要紧张...
也许想尽可能的在我离开前教我更多的东西,好让我未来慢慢自修
感动,非常的谢谢他的这份心意
这将会是我未来继续自修的最大动力来源

还记得第一次上他的课时,总觉得他很严肃,没什么谈话
但是渐渐的,一切都改变了
也许他和我一样,都不习惯和陌生人说话吧
刚开始的那份距离感...如今已经烟消云散

对不起,因为我是一个那么没天赋的学生
谢谢你,因为一直努力教导我和没放弃过我这样的一个学生

希望将来还有机会再向这位恩师多多学习...

Thursday, September 8, 2011

九月

现在看到的,九月就只有一个“忙”字
做不完的工作,解决不完的问题
平服不了的情绪,预见不了的未来
真的让我有点喘不过气来

护照到期了必须更新
手头上有大大小小的工作必须在这个月里完成
还有不少的东西要交代清楚
周末看来也会忙着工作吧...

也没什么关系吧...就那么一个人
平时也是呆在家而已
看到报纸刊着张信哲的演唱会广告
自己只能低头叹气...这次去不成了,下次吧!

家里也有许多必须解决与交代的事物
虽然到现在还不知道十月会变得怎样
但是还是事先安排一下吧
到时候就不必慌乱了

无法控制的事情...无法克制自己一而再的去想它
算了吧,想想就好了,反正什么也做不到
让自己的心绪跌入谷底也不是什么好玩的事
但是这九月的我...应该会过得很阴沉吧...

那天跟吉他老师说将会暂停三个月左右
惊讶的是,他的表情并不是我想象中的平淡
可以感觉到有一丝的失望...
希望我能够把这份感觉化为我前进的力量吧

经过了风风雨雨,来到了九月
除了累,其实已没有什么其他的感觉了
希望自己行尸走肉的日子可以快些过去
我并不想在这样过完我的下半辈子...

Thursday, September 1, 2011

九月雨


趁着难得的假期
难得的只有我一个人呆在家里
翻开了自己收藏的影片
看着一部又一部感人的电影
放纵着自己让眼泪直流
让自己的情绪难得的失控一下
好久没有这样坦然地面对自己了
现实的生活往往造就了我把任何事情都往心里掩埋
是时候让他们倾泻了吧?
想起了曾经,想起了过去
有甜美的回忆,有苦涩的往事
现在的我,有怎样呢?
当未来的我回想起现在的我时...会联想到什么呢?
就这样在过去,现在和未来之间周旋,徘徊
眼泪,湿了又干,干了又湿
希望自己难得的被洗涤干净
然后更有勇气,更加坚强的把路走下去...

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

岁月轻狂 - 李治廷

岁月神偷电影主题曲

水一般的少年
风一般的歌
梦一般的遐想
从前的你和我

手一挥就再见
嘴一翘就笑
脚一动就踏前
从前的少年

啊~ 漫天的回响
放眼看 岁月轻狂
啊~ 岁月轻狂

起风的日子流洒奔放
细雨飘飘 心晴朗
云上去 云上看
云上走一趟
青春的黑夜挑灯流浪
青春的爱情不回望
不回想 不回答
不回忆 不回眸
反正也不回头

啊~ 漫天的回响
放眼看 岁月轻狂
啊~ 岁月轻狂

起风的日子流洒奔放
细雨飘飘 心晴朗
云上去 云上看
云上走一趟
青春的黑夜挑灯流浪
青春的爱情不回望
不回想 不回答
不回忆 不回眸
回不了头




The Young Age | Musicians Available

Friday, August 26, 2011

August End

Wonder why... my blog post is getting lesser and lesser...
Maybe I'm too lazy to blog? Maybe I'm too busy to blog?
I wonder...
Anyway, 8 months passed by... and all that is accumulated in me are frustrations... and more frustrations...
Well, there are many "contributors" that contribute towards these frustrations...

Work will be the main contributor...
Feeling a little lost again... can see the direction... can't feel the future clearly...
Maybe is time to move on and go for a new challenge?

My physical ability is another contributor...
What I want to put out is I'm losing energy... maybe is just a sign of aging?
But I found myself harder to coupe for sports activity more and more, day after day...
Oh boy, am I sick or this is just normal? Pain and ache everywhere... my body just doesn't seems alright...

Life... contributing frustration as well...
Relation issues are yet to be solve... not love issue here... just some family problem
And all I did all this while is just ignoring it and running myself away...
Sigh... what a mess

It's been more than a year since I'm back home
It's been more than a year since I start working
But my life is still... seems to be unable to settle down...
Ended up with more and more frustration accumulating
Wonder when will it blows up?

A week of hard earned and long waited holiday is ahead of me
Hope I can press on the "reset" button and re-order my life
I don't want my life to go on like this
I need a way out... and I'm eagerly searching for it...

Monday, August 15, 2011

杨宗纬 - 那个男人


现不谈论这首歌是否好听,我只是想说...我很喜欢这歌词。很有感觉,唱着我的心声,触动我的心灵。希望你们也会喜欢。

那個男人

有個男人愛著你 用心愛著你
那個男人愛著你 徹底愛著你
他情願變成影子 守候著你 跟隨著你
那個男人愛著你 心卻在哭泣

還需要多久多長 多傷
你才會聽見他 沒說 的話
堅強像謊言一樣 不過是一種偽裝
他只希望有個機會能被你愛上

還需要多久多長 多渴望
你才會走向他 貼在他的身旁
微笑像謊言一樣 是最起碼的假裝
眼淚只能躲藏

那個男人愛著你 忘記了自己
從此他小心翼翼 靜靜等待愛情
他情願選擇相信 為了你 不言不語
那個男人愛著你 傷埋在回憶

不論要多久多長 多傷
他還是愛著你 一如 往常
就好像一個傻瓜 對著那空氣說話
他會不會有個機會能被你愛上

還需要多久多長 多渴望
你才會走向他 貼在他的身旁
微笑像謊言一樣 是最起碼的假裝
眼淚只能躲藏

那個男人就是我你知道嗎
還是知道卻假裝不知道嗎
問到沙啞
你也不會
回答

還需要多久多長 多傷
你才會聽見我 沒說 的話
堅強像謊言一樣 不過是一種偽裝
我只希望有個機會能被你愛上

不論要多久多長 多受傷
我還是愛著你 每分每秒一樣
就好像一個傻瓜 對著那空氣說話
等著被你愛上

Friday, August 5, 2011

Venture to the unknown...

Wondering what I'm wondering...
Been thinking a bit lately... well, maybe a lot...

After half year learning guitar, I'm beginning to get a hold on it...
And there comes the "disasters"... job transition to other country...
Feel a little "sad" about it (maybe my guitar teacher will be happy about it? haha...)
I will try to continue on self learning... I don't want to end up half way...
I really want to make this stick... and I will try my best...

Same goes to photography... well, this is not that big issue...
I can still bring all my gears over and continue shooting...
Really got to sharpen my skills further...
And of course, my target for getting myself a DSLR next year is still on...
This is what I want... so I will try to make it a dream come true as well...

For my Gundam modelling hobby... I will still continue on whenever I can...
I like to use my hand to craft out things...
I enjoy the process, and the moment of the finishing touch...
Although it may not be the major hobby for me for next year...
But I will still continue on when it is within my reach...

Up to now, I'm still searching for what I really want for work...
Maybe this is a good chance for me to explore and decide what I really want...
In fact, I'm still searching for what I really want for life...
Need some time to think and decide... on my needs, my dream, my goal
Is time to plan nicely and get all the puzzle pieces together...

Talk about dream... I really hope to attend the L'20 World Tour which is next year...
Place is not confirmed yet, maybe Hong Kong, Bangkok, Taipei or Shang Hai...
I really hope that I can get myself a ticket and attend the "once in a life time" event...
This will definitely be the best "star chasing" experience...
Will try to make it happen so that there will be no regret in future...

For my family... there's nothing much but "sorry"...
All this while I have not been a good child in the family...
I just don't know why... but I don't know what to say when the time comes...
I don't know how to be a good child in the family...
Sorry for always being the black sheep among the white...

And for the someone I adore...
I don't know how far we can go... and whether you are willing to do so...
But still, I'll pray for your happiness...
It may not be both of us, but still you will live your life a great one...
Crossing my fingers and blessing you with all my wishes...

I can't foresee the future...
But I can anticipate and plan for what might be coming...
Really hope that I'll not disappoint anyone...
I'll do my best, as what I always do...
And we'll see what will be the return...

Better stop wondering what I'm wondering...
And start getting my ass move and get the job done...

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Wu Xia (武侠)


Went to watch this movie... well, how can I miss the movie of Takeshi Kaneshiro... haha... anyway, let's talk about what I feel about this movie here.

The story begins with an incident happened in a small village, where 2 wanted criminals attempt to rob a shop. And Donnie Yen saved the shop owner and "accidentally" killed the 2 criminals. And here comes Takeshi Kaneshiro... investigating the truth behind this incident. The way the story unfold is very interesting and tempting. The more he investigate, the more truth has been unveiled. He found out that Donnie Yen didn't killed the 2 criminals by accident. In fact, he is a great kung fu master, and he killed them both by his intention.      

This is where the turning point of the story begins. Donnie Yen admitted he was a murderer before this, and now he want to have a new life again being an ordinary people, a good guy. But Takeshi Kaneshiro didn't think so. He believes that there are no "good guy" or "bad guy" in this world. We decide to be good or bad by our intention and things will change at any time and any moment. He wanted to arrest Donnie Yen. However, Donnie Yen's father (who had trained him to become a murderer and kung fu master) has managed to found him and want him back to his side to help him. Donnie Yen refuse, and then the conflict between them begins.

Well, up until this point the story is still very interesting. But things turn out to be rather disappointing towards the end. At the very beginning,  the story is emphasizing everyone has a good and bad personality inside, and this can be shown clearly from Takeshi Kaneshiro's act and also Donnie Yen's act. However, towards the end, this point is no longer being the center of the story line. In the end, Donnie Yen lose his left arms, Takeshi Kaneshiro died protecting Donnie Yen, and his father died "accidentally". And Donnie Yen live on happily ever after in the small village with his wife...

So, first I don't know why the director has lose his focus on the main theme towards the end... secondly, I got no idea why this movie have this title. It is not about action or kung fu... rather there are only some fighting action towards the end of the movie... which is only a small portion of it. The story is talking about something deeper within everyone. Third, the ending is rather lame... if the main theme of this story is able to carry on until the end, this would have been a great movie. They should ditch those fighting scene and work more on the emotional side. Like in the end, when Takeshi Kaneshiro died, the "bad guy" inside him is standing in front of him and crying... crying for the sacrifice of the "good guy" in him... this is a rather good interpretation which brings out the whole concept of the story.

Well, all in all, the movie did make me think about some of the things like what I have mentioned above... some are quite true... and leaves me ponder for awhile. Worth to watch in cinema? Hmm... I don't think many will like this movie. I like the concept, like the beginning... but dislike the ending. A good story, but poorly told. That is how I can conclude this movie.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

突然好想你

到底是何时开始...喜欢上了这一首歌?
已经不记得了...但是,没关系。
除了歌曲好听,当然最重要的还是因为他的歌词
说真的,句句都写到我心底去了
这难得的共鸣,让我沉醉在这首歌曲里...无法自拔
如果我能够有这样的才华,把我内心的想法,感触与情怀都写下来...
那...会有多好啊...
无论如何,这首歌已成为了我的K歌,我的“饮歌”...
也许唱得不好,没关系
只要让自己沉溺在这段情感,这段旋律里...
那...就足够了...



突然好想你
五月天

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息

想念如果会有声音
不愿那是悲伤的哭泣
事到如今终於让自已属於我自已
只剩眼泪还骗不过自己

突然好想你,你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你,突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

我们像一首最美丽的歌曲
变成两部悲伤的电影
为什麽你带我走过最难忘的旅行
然後留下最痛的纪念品

我们那麽甜 那麽美 那麽相信
那麽疯 那麽热烈的曾经
为何我们,还是要奔向各自的幸福和遗憾中老去

突然好想你,你会在哪里
过的快乐或委屈
突然好想你,突然锋利的回忆
突然模糊的眼睛

最怕空气突然安静
最怕朋友突然的关心
最怕回忆突然翻滚绞痛着不平息
最怕突然听到你的消息
最怕此生已经决定自己过,没有你却又突然
听到你的消息

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

July... nothing special

Yup... nothing special this month except quarrel with a Manager which is not my Manager also...
Anyway, don't want to talk about those ass hole here...

July... it's already half way through... time do flies quickly...
My boss is keep on asking me on "something"... and I'm yet to give him an answer
Don't feel like saying "yes" to that "something"...
Haha... "something" is just "something"... if it really happened, only will inform.

Planned a trip to Singapore in August... will take 1 day to walk around Singapore and shooting some pictures
And will spend some time meeting my friends in Singapore...
And of course the main objective is to pay my grandma a visit...
Love you... you are the best grandma in the world...

Planning a trip in September as well (technically, I'm not the one who plan for the trip...)
Wonder it will make it or not... because if that "something" happened...
This will be my last trip this year...
Pray hard... cross fingers...

Spent some time thinking about many things recently...
First one... hobby order re-shuffle: 1. Photography 2. Guitar 3. Gundam modelling...
Next... start saving for my first DSLR... target getting one by next year...
And... some decision has been made for my life... moving to the better future!!

Lastly... so eager to make one of my dream to become a success next year...
But it is not going to be easy to plan... Really hope that I can make one of my dream come true!!
What dream is that? Secret...
Will review only if I have successfully planned it...

2011 is ending soon... yes, it will end without notice...
Let's dash for the remaining 6 months in full force!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

again...

2011 first half kicks off with a shit and mess...
2011 second half kicks off with another shit and mess...
both cases are due to the same people giving me trouble...
sigh...
what to do?
just hope second half will also pass through smoothly like first half...
really no eye see...

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Half done for 2011

yup... June is coming to an end...
is time to sit back and recap the first half of 2011
what I have wanted to achieve...
what I have achieved...
what I have failed to do...
why I have failed to do...

In terms of work, so far everything is progressing in the right direction
besides getting daily job done, I have managed to see some of my weakness
Things that I need to improve, way of thinking and solving problem
will work for that direction in second half of the year

In terms of life... more or less still the same and nothing has been progressing well
maybe I spent too much of my focus on work?
well, not really...
maybe I'm just not capable of multi-tasking...
Anyway, will try to improve my life a little as well...

All in all, although the downs are more than the ups as usual
but yet again I had survived through another 6 months... and crossing 1 year in my job
hope I can slowly gain back my feet, my rhythm, my momentum
and make it more ups than downs for the second half of 2011...

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I am Me

I'm not talented in anything
Nor clever or smart

But...
I'm gifted and blessed...
With a heart full with determination
Together with hard work and the spirit of never give up
I have made some small wonders in my life

From empty, I picked up a book and learn
From nothing, I picked up the racket and play
From zero, I picked up the guitar and strum
From nowhere, I picked up the camera and start shooting
From the beginning, I picked up the pieces and mold them into models

This is how I was born into this world
And this is how I will live for the rest of my life
Without any doubts and regrets

Saturday, June 11, 2011

一厘米

手指间仅有一厘米的距离
心却被一世纪的沉默隔离
嘴唇间只有一厘米的缝隙
心却被一公升的泪水沉溺

虽然我们只间隔着一厘米
但是这还不是我们的爱情
就算你我的心仅差一厘米
还是无法串成你我的爱情

一千次的问候能否把你的心留住?
一千遍的呼唤能否让你感到归宿?
一千封的情书能否让感情升温几度?
一千句的爱你能否让我们靠近几步?

背对背却有一厘米的差距
肩并肩仍有一厘米的微距
一厘米用一光年的速度都不能追
只好忍痛承受这一厘米的暧昧

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Back to school?

Recently bought some books...
Every month when I pay Kinokuniya a visit to collect my monthly magazine, I'll end up grabbing something extra...
Got about 3 books in my hand now, 2 for photography, 1 for travel.
Gosh, I like reading...
But can hardly imagine I'll be able to read all of them
When was the last time I read a book without falling asleep...
Anyway, half done for the travel one, 10% for one of the photography book...
If only I'm so hard working when I'm in University...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Last of May

Not a great way to end my month of May...
Getting rather frustrated sometimes with work...
Mainly is people around me that I deal with when I work...
Workload is still manageable, but people...
Should have expected in the very first place...
As this is the so called "culture"
But still can't stop myself for feeling disappointed
In the end, I shall continue to stick with my believe...
Do everything on your own and forget about getting help from others...
Sigh...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

她和她

遇见了一个长得很像她的她
虽然心里非常明白她不是她
但是还是无法克制自己的想法
无法阻止心里一涌而上的阵痛

回忆过去,我和她之间的一些过往
虽然并没有手牵手,心连心的甜蜜
但是却有过许多的欢笑与快乐
也有着一丝丝的失落与不甘心

看看现在,我和她也只是相识不久
我们之间的关系是单纯的简单而已
希望自己能够阻止自己的思绪
别再留恋这那消逝已久的过往

她不会是她的替代品
我不会让她来取代她
她,很像她
她,不是她

Monday, May 16, 2011

a small pause in May

May is ending and June is around the corner
Feel like have been a little off-the-pace in work recently
Have to catch up again and go for it

As life... continues it's miserable and emptiness
With a slight of joy for the past few days as having some great moments with colleagues at Cameron Highland
When the lights go off, curtain goes down
I'm back again sitting on the thinking chair
Thinking about past, present & future

Just hope that I'll be able to pull myself together
And take on another journey in life
To seek for what to be achieved & to fill up this empty soul of mine...