Friday, June 28, 2013

最近的自己。

最近的自己,感觉上仿佛有些过于急躁
也许是在新环境下的不安
也许是对未来的不知所措
也许是急于证明自己的决定是对的
也许是希望能够尽快安顿下来然后习惯这里的生活
也许我应该暂时放缓自己的步伐
让自己慢慢调整回来后才全力冲刺
希望一切会慢慢的好转吧...

Friday, June 21, 2013

Moving on

Last day, last night, last dinner, last moment

On my bed, looking around my room
Wondering how many times do I need to say good bye to my beloved room
Over and over again

On my guitar, playing my last strum
Wondering how many times do I need to say good bye to my beloved guitar
Over and over again

Updated my blog's template to mark a new chapter of my life
Clear off almost every single things I can ever think about before leaving
I really have no idea about what is going to happen in the future
But still, I'll move on...

Sorry once again, and thank you all once again...

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Packing up for departure

Packing my stuff in order to move to Singapore and start my new life...
Surprisingly get everything done in just an hour time...
Maybe I'm just too used to packing up stuff...
Not sure it is some good skill that should be proud of...
Ever since young, been traveling here and there for day trips and packing...
Follow by studying in Sabah, more packing to do...
Then back to KL after finish study... more packing...
And 1 year stay in Dubai... even more packing...
Finally back to KL and now to Singapore...
Not to mention those business trips in between...
Oh boy, feel like spent half of my life just packing and unpacking my luggage...
Just hope that I can really settle myself down soon...

Friday, June 14, 2013

Counting down the days...

Yes, currently am counting down the days before I head to Singapore to start my new working life there. These few days I am busy in clearing some books I bought last year... Got to finish them as I don't plan to bring them over... Also clearing my last box of Gundam plastic model... Those are very old kit bought by my aunt long time ago and she didn't even open the box before, so she gave it to me and I got them all assembled up nicely. Since they are old model, the quality and the end product really differs a lot with the current generation of Gundam model selling in the market. Well, it was the past anyway, technology changes, design improved, so when building them, I just got this thinking in my head: when we look back our old days now, we will laugh at our stupidness, how silly we are back then, and thank god that we have improved now...

Indeed. Looking back my old self these few days, I get to see a lot of things. A lot mistake I have made, a lot of mess I have created, still I don't regret and will not want to change my past. These made who I am today, so live with it and make sure I'm doing better in the future, just that simple. Well, not that simple actually, but I'll try my best.

Leaving next Saturday. After clearing my debt, I really got nothing more in relation to my beloved country other than being a citizen. Without burden, without any other debt, and I shall leave with pride. Gotta finish those books these few days. Then have to clear off every last bit of left over and restart myself, hopefully as a new and better me...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

失业中的我

这一个星期来,在家里都是无所事事
难得让自己懒一下
偶尔上网,偶尔看书,偶尔看电影
但大部分时候还是让脑袋在不停的转
想着许多的事情
六月的最后一个星期将会是我离开的时候
必须把该完成的完成,才能了无牵挂的离开
还有几本书打算把它们看完
还有几个模型也打算把它们砌完
当初定下的目标还有写作和摄影
那些得迟些才去完成了
其他还有一些手续要办,希望都能赶得及办好吧
剩下的两个星期,是时候停止懒散了。

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

言の葉の庭


新海诚的最新力作,再一次的令人感动。
一对男女,一对师生,他们之间的爱恨情仇,他们各自怀抱的梦想,他们各自承受的孤单,相互依偎,相互扶持,最后结果会是如何?
续“追逐星星的孩子”后,新海诚这一次回归了“秒速五厘米”的制作风格,简短明确的把他想表达的故事呈现出来。非常不错的一部动画,记得不容错过!

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Jobless

4th of June, 2013. It's 1pm in the afternoon, and I'm staying home, lying on my bed with nothing much to do. When was the last time I have such a moment on the weekdays. Yes, long time ago, probably some days when I'm on leave, but even when I'm on leave, I'll have to check on emails and answering phone call from time to time. Today, I just got nothing to do, and I don't feel like doing anything either.

Yesterday was a little special and emotional to me, as it was my last day working in my company, a company I started working for since I graduated from University for the past 3 years. Time really flies by so soon that now I'm already 27 years old, standing in yet another junction where I need to make my decision for my life & for my future. 

People asking me whether I'm not happy with my current job. Well, a little, you can't find a job which you can completely satisfy anyway. People are wondering why I'm leaving, and everyone is giving this "surprised" kind of look on their face. I wonder do they expect a person to start working for a company until the day he or she retired. It's not that my current job is not good, it's not that my current pay is low, it's not that my company is treating me bad. It's just me, I have made a bold decision for my life and I'd decided to take on the road not taken. It's that simple.

Some may say that be grateful of what you have now and live your life with what you are given with. I would really like to try living a life style like this, but will I be happy with myself? Maybe not. I'm just not the kind of person that will feel comfortable staying in the comfort zone. Maybe I'm just too young to get myself tied up. There's a whole world out there, it will be a waste if I choose not to explore it right now when I'm still able to do so. I want to test my limit. I want to go beyond the horizon. I want to continue demanding and challenging myself, so that I will continue to grow, to learn and to become a better person. 

And so, I have decided to leave my homeland once again. I know I had some bitter memories in Dubai, therefore this time around I'm heading to somewhere closer to my home, Singapore. I'll try my luck and see if I can survive in this fast pace country, and I'll see how far can I evolve myself to coupe with all the changes in my life. I've spent a lot in renovating my current room, it's a bit of waste to leave it behind, but I know there are sacrifices that need to be made in order for me to move forward.

It's not about the money, it's not about the company, it's just about me who want to live my life to the fullest. I'm sorry if my selfish decision has brought any trouble or harm to anyone. Forgive me, and I wish to receive your blessing to build up my strength and courage to continue live on.