Saturday, October 29, 2011

张信哲 - 花季未了

最近心情都在低谷徘徊
为什么?很多原因吧...
那天,在电视机里偶然看见了这MV...
情歌王子的歌声又再一次的触动了我的心灵
这首歌的歌词,完全描绘了我现在的心情...
看来,这几天的我会反复的听着这首歌曲吧...
希望...能够在这深渊里...得到一点点的安慰与温暖...

张信哲 - 花季未了 
填词:许常德 作曲:郭蘅祈

我想要的你却给不了
爱情至今只剩下拥抱
我感觉你想逃 我却放不掉
麻烦你来 陪我苦恼 

我想爱的我拥有不了
缘份强求谁都受不了
昨天开的花朵 今天却谢了
伤心一朵 幸福一朵 知多少 

花季未了 你却走了 泪在掉
剩下的绽放 回忆里烧
花季未了 余情未了 直到天老
也许遗憾才让人生美好

我想忘的 早就该忘掉
誓言在昨天 已落幕了
有些戏太冗长 难懂难了
不如简单精彩就好 

花季未了 你却走了 泪在掉
剩下的绽放 回忆里烧
花季未了 余情未了 直到天老
也许遗憾才让人生美好

花季未了 人却散了 风在飘
何时再重逢 谁又知道
花季未了 天夜黑了 分分秒秒
相见离别都仍觉得 你最好

花季未了 余情未了 直到天老
也许遗憾才让人生美好


Wednesday, October 26, 2011

我…要快乐

戴上耳机,与世隔绝
躺在床上的我,听着歌,思绪放空
心,突然一阵刺痛
耳朵里传来的那句歌词,多么的讽刺

我并不是天生爱寂寞,却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我,我还是一无所有

张惠妹的《我要快乐》
短短两句,却唱到了我的心里
双手情不自禁的紧握
泪水渐渐的从眼角溢了出来

被单上被浸湿的痕迹,久久都未能干去
只有眼泪是真的歌词是这样的唱着

泪水总是伴随着孤单
其实乐观的想,孤单不是还有泪水做伴吗?
偶尔还会有寂寞和孤独来做客
一切并没有想像般的差吧?

把从前想了一遍,谢谢了伤我的人
谢谢你们让我学会了孤单,认识了孤独,熟悉了寂寞。因为

懂得孤单的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己不再孤单的人
懂得寂寞的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己不再寂寞的人
懂得孤独的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己不再孤独的人
懂得哭泣的人,才会更懂得珍惜身边那让自己展颜欢笑的人

就算最后有人陪伴在身边也好,独自一人也好
要快乐

Saturday, October 22, 2011

3rd week in Dubai...


3 weeks for now…
For life… everything has been settling down so far…
As what I usually said: I’m easily adapting to the environment
Work wise… still need to do some catch up
Need to get some of the things confirm as soon as possible in order to carry out my project
If not, my time will be wasted for doing nothing at all
Do I miss friends? Do I miss this? And do I miss that?
Honestly, I don’t know… I never really think about it
Maybe this is the better way for me not to stuck myself into home sick?
Anyway, live goes on…
Just hope that I can get something here…
And hope that I will get a clearer direction on what to do in my future…

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Getting closer to my L'20 dream...

Remember I talk about a dream which I'm about to achieve next year?
I mentioned about it before this in the old post...
Anyway, it's getting clearer...
And when things started to unfold, the dream seems to be getting closer...
And it seems to be within my reach now...
But at the same time... I'm starting to feel a little scare and worry...
What if I failed to catch this dream... even if it is so close to be grabbed...
I bet it will be a very great disappointment...
Just hope and pray that I really can achieve it next year...
Will try my best... and will give whatever it takes...
Well, in the end people might think that what I'm trying to achieve is stupid...
But... that's one of my dream...
And I have worked myself to achieve it... that's all matters...
Wish me luck...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

私の物語 Ver. 5.0

Yes, since the day I start blogging here in blogger, this is the 5th overhaul on the blog... I think I will settle down with this layout for some times before switching again. It has been a habit of mine to make some changes when there's changes in my life... either changing the profile picture or changing the blog template and layout & etc. This time around is still the same. 

It has been 2 weeks staying in Dubai for work transition... still in the mist of getting the project proposal ready for my boss's approval. Life here has so far been positive. Well, I'm just the kind of people who can adapt easily to change in environment, so it wouldn't be an issue for me whether to work in Malaysia or oversea.

And I'm just the kind of person that will not stop my brain from thinking... yes, there are some free time here since I'm not that "Active" in outdoor activity compared to back in Malaysia. So those free time has been spent to do a little bit of thinking. Thoughts that are mainly surrounding my jobs and life... I guess I will have to make some decisions in near future, and I'm still thinking on them...

Well, it's good to do some thinking sometimes, but it does make me feel dull, down and frustrated if over doing it. So I decided to grab myself a guitar by the end of this week and start picking up my guitar skills... and at the same time, diverting my mind from thinking too much on other things. Just hope that I can get a balance point between life, work, future and satisfaction even though I'm so far away from my friends and family.


A whole new profile picture
A whole new blog template
A whole new mindset
A whole new energy pumping in
And a whole new me to face all the up coming challenges...

Saturday, October 8, 2011

R.I.P. - Steve Jobs

Honestly, I must admit he changed the electronic world so much.
Honestly, I must admit that all the inventions from Apple are so tempting.
Honestly, I must admit I owned nothing branded under Apple before.

A man has departed to heaven, and what's left over is just memory.
I once read a story about this man from newspaper
A story about three stories he shared during a graduation ceremony

I found these stories are somehow inspiring
It makes you think twice... and think deep
And now, he has changed not just the world of electronics, but also our world of thinking as well...



I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.



Friday, October 7, 2011

a Week in Dubai

Nothing much happened so far...
Safely reached... everything seems organized here...
First impression on this place is: Skyscrapers and dust...
You will find these 2 elements covering 99% of Dubai...
Food is slightly more expensive than Malaysia...
Restaurant price tag are crazy here...
Other than that... nothing much really
Just working and earn a living...
It will be the same no matter where I am...