It’s been awhile for me to write something here in my blog… exam coming… no time… but I wonder where my time gone… I didn’t really study anything… and the study week had already passed by… what have I done? Nothing at all… am I feeling pressure or tension? I don’t know. I think I’m just a puppet without a soul now… just being told to study and study only… sigh… already exhausted from all the work… write till my hand is aching now… giving up? I wonder…
My “dear” have been asking me to find her in campus… saying want me help her deliver food at first… then later only tell me that she make some “tong sui” and ask me go take from her… I rejected her… (Rain start to fall right after I made that decision, shall I say luckily I didn’t promise her?) I think she must hate me at that time… the other day she ask am I free and will I go in campus. I told her I’m not free, need to do group discussion with friends… she didn’t say anything further… but her friend keeps on asking me to go in campus… actually she cook the “tong sui” again (I think…) already… then hoping I can go and try it out maybe? Honestly, I’m not really in the mood for things like that at that moment… but feel kind of guilty after being asked so many times by her friend… so I went in campus to find her…
I don’t hope to meet her? No… I want to do so… but it’s just I don’t think that is a good time for me… but after seeing her… feel kind of glad for going to meet her although there’s some drizzle of rain when I’m on my way back home… feeling sorry… I think I’d made her sad… let her down… sigh… what the hell am I doing… losing out myself totally recently… too exhausted I suppose… from study? Maybe… but maybe is exhausted due to my life… a merely 22-years-old saying tired of living… funny as it may seems… sigh… sorry to my “dear”… sorry… don’t know what else can be say and do… can barely move my body, can barely work my mind, can barely catch a breath…
My “dear” have been asking me to find her in campus… saying want me help her deliver food at first… then later only tell me that she make some “tong sui” and ask me go take from her… I rejected her… (Rain start to fall right after I made that decision, shall I say luckily I didn’t promise her?) I think she must hate me at that time… the other day she ask am I free and will I go in campus. I told her I’m not free, need to do group discussion with friends… she didn’t say anything further… but her friend keeps on asking me to go in campus… actually she cook the “tong sui” again (I think…) already… then hoping I can go and try it out maybe? Honestly, I’m not really in the mood for things like that at that moment… but feel kind of guilty after being asked so many times by her friend… so I went in campus to find her…
I don’t hope to meet her? No… I want to do so… but it’s just I don’t think that is a good time for me… but after seeing her… feel kind of glad for going to meet her although there’s some drizzle of rain when I’m on my way back home… feeling sorry… I think I’d made her sad… let her down… sigh… what the hell am I doing… losing out myself totally recently… too exhausted I suppose… from study? Maybe… but maybe is exhausted due to my life… a merely 22-years-old saying tired of living… funny as it may seems… sigh… sorry to my “dear”… sorry… don’t know what else can be say and do… can barely move my body, can barely work my mind, can barely catch a breath…
1 comment:
if i were her, i think i'll feel disappointed if you didn't show up.it just a rain, anyhow...
but to think about it again, you're tired and busy. so, hope she understand you lo.
hmmm, one word for all- tolerate.
p/s: now only start finals?! i almost finish suffer *sai meng-ing* haha!
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