一人

一个人
只是一个人
只是一个人能做什么？

不能握手
不能亲吻
不能拥抱

那么
那么现在
那么现在一个人的我能做什么？

能够握手？
能够亲吻？
能够拥抱？

什么都做不到的一个人
到底还能期盼些什么？
到底还能依赖着什么？

只能独自静静的消沉着
只能独自静静的失落着
只能独自静静的沉沦着

一个人
就只是一个人
就只是一个人到底能够走得多远呢？

busy + tired + boring

Busy and still busy... in the end didn't make it to complete a Senbazuru for Sato Sensei by Tuesday... but will complete it as soon as possible and give it to her... mid term exam is coming soon... and as usual, waiting to die beautifully... don't understand what I'm studying now, and don't really have enough time and energy to study hard... wonder why... maybe i should just admit that I'm lazy... will post the Senbazuru photo... check it out under my photo gallery beside...

busy + tired

Rushing to complete a Senbazuru for our Japanese language lecturer… Sato Sensei… hope she’ll recover soon from her illness… will be giving the Senbazuru to her by Tuesday night, hope that me and my club member manage to complete it in time… tired of folding the paper crane, but really do hope that this will bring her some courage… thanks for many helps that she had given to us… she is a good lecturer… pray for her, and pray that we manage to get things done in time…

Once

Once, there were people saying…

You have a good sense in music, why don’t you involve yourself in it?

Once, there were people saying…

You have a good taste in fashion, why don’t you get into that field?

Once, there were people saying…

You like animation so much, why don’t you become an animator?

Once, there were people saying…

You are good in art, why don’t you become a painter?

Once, there were people saying…

You are good in designing, why don’t you get yourself in it?

Once, there were people saying…

You are good with computers, why don’t you further your study on it?

All these might really be “once”

I wonder am I still having a good sense of music…

Still having a good taste in fashion?

Still good in art, designing and computer?

Sometimes, I’ll wonder…

What if any of those “once”… had become reality

What will I be doing now?

Will I be a more successful person than I am by this very moment?

Well, this is the rule of life…

No turning back

So, just face the reality now…

And continue to move on with my life now…

Just a scratch

Nothing special in particular, just want to scratch something here everyday...

Yesterday experienced some dangerous moment when the lorry is cutting into my motor lane in front of me leaving no space for me to continue my journey... luckily manage to survive from that... watched Wall-E and Hancock... both movie is just OK lo... but the Hancock actually can be made better... done with the first event of this semester of the Japanese Cultural Club, the Paper Crane Event... folding paper crane for earthquake victims in Japan... before 2pm we had already manage 1000 pieces of cranes... so happy with it. Thank you for those who had attend the event... Now planning to do another Senbazuru for one of our lecturer Sato Sensei, who is going to take a leave after this semester for medical treatment... wish her all the best and recover soon... finally have some free time to breath... must treasure it... and mid term exam is coming soon already... oh my god... course mate planned to make a BBQ on 2 August... wonder can succeed or not... finally went for badminton yesterday evening... a very nice work out... now whole body is feeling pain here and there... hehe...

Hope everything continues to be fine...

Which F**ker ASS HOLE took my helmet…

Well, just by reading the title should be already know what’s going wrong… some idiot stole my helmet which is locked and park at university… that’s all I can say… bad luck?

Sorry for troubling all my friends again… helping me through this… sorry…

And may God curse the idiot bloody s**ker who took my helmet to die banging by lorry then by car then drag 1km apart and ram over by lorry and car again… Amen.

赤壁

看完这部戏的第一个感觉是...导演大人他根本不懂什么是三国，什么是赤壁。既然故事是从刘备带着百姓逃离曹操的追击开始，那么为什么“张飞怒喝长板桥”这么重要的一幕就这样被忽略了？常山赵子龙如何以一杀百，夺得曹操的宝剑，这一幕也被活生生的忽略了。张飞当时还在怀疑赵子龙是否已经投降曹操，然后张飞一人如何吓退曹操的大军...这些才是这一战的精髓，但是却被改写成孔明带着大家杀敌。如果没记错，当时孔明好像并没身在此战中。最搞笑的，还莫过于没有战马的关羽。赤兔马呢？没有战马的将士，可能存在吗？孔明是军师，指挥大军，应该坐在他的四轮车里，但是戏里却是骑着战马到处乱窜。孙权猎虎那一段就是在浪费时间。孔明舌战群懦也被草草了事。唉...如果下一集故事没有含盖“草船借箭”，“孔明三气周瑜”，“借东风”，“王盖献上连环计”，“关羽放生曹操”等经典内容，这部戏将根本不应该被称为赤壁...

没看过三国的人，也许这会是一部好戏。但是对于我来说，拍摄和制作是不错的，但是故事却太另人失望了...

First ride alone

Yesterday was my first ride to university myself... all alone... 6.30pm... the overall journey? Well, should b consider as ok, but with some "exciting" moments... hehe... 1st is i scared a car by braking a little bit late around the corner... well, there's just a small small corner, so everything is still under control. Next, when i exit a roundabout, i accidentally down shift my bike to 1st gear... luckily when i pick up, i just pick up slowly, but still can feel the power of 1st gear... phew... then everything is just fine... until the return journey, when exiting another roundabout, the benz in front leaves no space for me at the side, so i have to follow its bud... but he brakes suddenly when exiting the roundabout... luckily i drive slow & manage to brake, but fail to balance & have to put my leg down to support myself.

Well, i guess that's it... my skill is improving, but still making some silly mistake here and there... hehe... what to do since i'm just a noobie?

Recent sigh

Don’t know is my laptop problem, or the line problem… recently can’t really sign in to MSN… can’t really surf the net at all time… when early morning that time everything seems to be fine, but slowly things will get worse… in the middle of the day, there’s nothing I can do… plugging the LAN cable means nothing to me… wonder what’s wrong… tired of it, but too lazy to find the solution… sigh… let’s just see how things unfold…

Recently a lot programs keep on hang or jam… wonder what’s wrong… Thunder downloads and bit comet… MSN… Firefox also… maybe there’s something wrong to my windows… the software got problems… I wonder… maybe will need to repair or format it again… sighs…

Wonder when

Wonder when I’ll be able to ride a motor skillfully…

Wonder when I’ll be able to have some free time relaxing…

Wonder when I’ll be able to settle all the assignment…

Wonder when I’ll be able to start study hard…

Wonder when I’ll be able to live my life happily…

Riding here and there…

Riding my bike frequently after I got it since Friday… not for fun, is rushing for assignment actually. I went to university’s library and my friend’s house searching for data and information to get the assignment done. What a f***er lecturer, didn’t teach not even 1 lesson, but come in and gave the assignment and due date is by 21 July… not even 1 week to complete it… damn! Just hope I’ll be able to cheat out the whole assignment, pass up and forget it.

My riding skill is slowly improving, even though there’re still some dangerous moments here and there during my ride… but I’ll do my best to improve myself. Now I’m wondering am I capable to ride the bike to University on Monday… most of my classes are morning class. There’ll be a traffic jam on the way to my university, I wonder am I capable to handle all that yet… my roundabout skill is still not that convincing, and I have a lot of comment on the extremely small but sharp and high bumper near my house… I’ll always lose my balance over there… I’ll conquer it some days… well, that’s what I’m hoping… just pray for me that I won’t accident, ok?

I found my “other half”…

Well, if you are expecting me to say I found a girlfriend here… you guess it wrongly my friend. I’d manage to rent a motor… finally… planned to buy 1 before this, but after some mathematic calculations and considerations… end up I decided to rent a bike instead. Thank you to my friend Ah Sun for fetching me go to the shop to rent the motor… thank you to my friend Ah Leong for riding my motor all the way back to my house. Hehe… and thanks to Ah Teoh for accompanying me also. I’m still not very use to my new motor, give me some time and I’ll make things right… then I’ll be able to ride to university and no need to rely on the sucking bus anymore.

Well, a bit unbalance at first when I ride on it. Some funny moment occurs. Then at night, my housemate Mr. Kok Seng force me go out with my bike… well, in the end I ride my bike, he ride his bike and he accompany me riding the bike going out and went to 1 Borneo… Oh My God… this is my first Sabah motor ride, my first ride on the main road… and everything happened in a split second. There’re some “exciting moments” along the way, but somehow everything is still under control… thanks to him for accompanying me riding the bike at the speed of 40-50km only…

Last but not least, I’ll treat you good… so please treat me good too… I won’t betray you so you don’t betray me also… ok? From now on we’ll be together running through storm and sun… so, douzo yoroshiku onegai shimasu…

My Babe... Modenas Kriss

Sleepy…

Finally getting approval of Senbazuru Event! So glad that finally the university approves my proposal. Now starts to work on the posters… and hope that there’ll be enough people to come and join for this event… after settle this will be family day of the club and also preparing monthly activity for club members… then maybe I’ll need to start planning the future big event… see how things going first.

Only slept 4 hours per day for the past week… sometime is really need rush a lot of things… sometime is just I want to wake up early to download anime so that I won’t affect others connection speed… hehe…

Anyway, went for movie yesterday… “Batman – The Dark Knight”. At first I thought the “Dark Knight” refers to the evil in the movie… in the end I found out is referring to Mr. Wayne… how was the movie? Well, nice story I should say, but the way the story drags out makes it a little bit boring. A lot of talking but very few actions… so don’t expect too much from this movie.

Getting busier and busier…

Well, just settle the 1st day of my club’s member intake registration… everything seems to be running smoothly. Next will be registration for the family day… follow by t-shirt making… just hope the t-shirt can be done asap. Next Friday will have an event of folding paper crane and making Senbazuru… what is that? Well, joining 1000 pieces of paper crane with a string will give you a Senbazuru, which means sending wishes and hopes to people who receive it. The Senbazuru will be send to Iwate and Miyagi in Japan, where an earthquake had occurred on 14 June 2008. We are making one for our sensei who will stop from giving lecturer end of this semester due to medical condition. Busier and busier with the club stuff…

Assignment is coming… tutorial class and etc… all are bombarding me… tired of club stuff but still need to handle studies… what to do? Only the second week of lecture and I’d been slipping off badly… mountains of assignment had been accumulated… OMG! Really no eye see already… just sit tight and wait die… hehe…

Gentleman, Start your engine…

Well, after a series of class skipping during the first week of lecture… I think is time for me to start to work hard already… I won’t be too late right? Hehe… anyway, I just hope that I can get a motor soon… so I’ll be able to learn how to ride it and hopefully riding it to university… life starts to get busy, just hope I can handle everything nicely… PTPTN is finally here… and donno why, it seems like the school fees has reduced… talking about price… some of the shop here selling economy rice at RM4 already… I wonder is that still considered as “economy” or not… but there are still shops that selling at RM3.50, so just stick with those shop for the rest of the semester… this semester will be a tuff one… 20 credit hours… some more most of them are killing major subjects… maybe I should start to work hard rather than pray hard… the internet line recently is getting sucks… I wonder why… oh, and just beside of UMS now is the largest shopping hypermall in Sabah, the 1 Borneo Hypermall. I haven’t been there before, but I saw people (1st year students the most) walking all the way exiting the main gate and along the road to the shopping complex… then buying all sort of things like pillow, broom and etc back… yes, by walking… well, I think I’ll do such crazy things too when I’m 1st year… hehe… next time only update ypu guys with the shopping complex… after I’ve been there first… now don’t have any special interest yet… talk about shopping, is there anywhere that can beat KL? No! Don’t talk about oversea of course… next, the @#$%* Mr. New keep on showing off with his “everyday low fare” in off-campus accommodation… some more he is moving to a bigger house but still paying the same old rate… well, this world is full of unfair stuff, don’t you think? I’ll stop here by now… next time only I’ll share my new roommate with you guys over here… till then, take care!

My Room’s update

Posting it now might seem a bit late and not relevant, but who cares? Just want to share my lovely, tiny, dirty… little room in my hometown with you guys over here… well, nothing much in my room, a set of weird desktop (well, not mine though), a cupboard of pretty shirt (taking my sweet time thinking what to wear every time), a whole stack of great magazine (will read them over and over again), a comforting bed (I like my bed) and last but not least… where my treasure lies… is a cupboard of my collection of properties…

How many are there? Well, I think I lost my count… if you want, I’ll post the full item list for you… anyway, had been dreaming that one day when my elder sister get married, I’ll be able to stay in the bigger room… then I’ll have a bigger place to place a bigger cabinet… to pose more collection… just thinking about it makes me feel so happy… haha… have I lost my mind?

My Collection:

1/400 scale

METEOR unit

1/144 scale

Advanced Hazel Gundam, Gundam Astraea, Blaze Zaku Phantom, Blitz Gundam, Buster Gundam, Calamity Gundam, CGUE DEEP Arms, Destiny Gundam, Duel Gundam, Gaplant, GN Arms + Gundam Exia (TransAm), Gouf Ignited, Gundam Astray Red Frame, Gundam Hazel Custom, G-parts, Hyakushiki + Mega Bazooka Launcher, Jagd Doga, Kerberos BuCue Hound, Gundam Nadleeh, Oowashi Akatsuki Gundam, Palace Athene, Sandrock Gundam Custom (Endless Waltz), Shiranui Akatsuki Gundam, Stargazer Gundam, Strike Noir Gundam, v Gundam, Verde Buster Gundam, Gundam Virtue

1/100 scale

Aegis Gundam, Death Scythe D-Hell Custom (Endless Waltz), Gundam Dynames, Force Impulse Gundam, Gundam Astray Blue Frame Second L, Infinite Justice Gundam, Justice Gundam, Gundam Kyrios, Legend Gundam, Over Flag, Saviour Gundam, Sword Impulse Gundam, Sword Strike Gundam

Master Grade

Crossbone Gundam, Destiny Gundam Extreme Blast Mode, Freedom Gundam, God Gundam, Hi-v Gundam, Kampfer, Rick Dias, Strike Noir E + IWSP, Strike Freedom Gundam Full Burst Mode, Gundam Unicorn, Wing Zero Custom (Endless Waltz), Zaku II, Zeta Gundam (White Unicorn colour version)

1/60 scale

Strike Freedom Gundam Lightning Edition

Perfect Grade

Skygrasper, Strike Gundam

These are just Gundam; there are some other stuff too, such as:

Zegapain Altair, Evangelion EVA-01, Ferrari F2001, Naruto-Gara-Kakashi, Takahashi Kousuke’s Mazda FD-3S, Keroro Solar Power Head-shaking toy, Keroro, Chibi Kero, Keroro Robo, Afro Gunso, Keroro Ver. 1.5, Musha Keroro, God Keron Full set, Usoppu Egg Toy machine, Giroro, Chopper and Rocketman…

Something like this… more or less… hehe...

Touched... by the miracle of Sakura

It’s really been awhile since the last time I’m touched by a movie… and now I finally get back the feeling… since the first day I watch the series, I’d been amazed and touched by it… what I’m talking about here is the Anime series… One Piece.

Many people are enjoying the comedy of this anime, but I rather enjoy watching the touching story behind every member… and the journey of them sailing through all those hardship, but still standing together as one.

I introduced the Anime before, this time around the latest 9th Movie had been released… is a story edited from how Luffy met Chopper on the Winter Island. The whole 2 hours of movie will bring you travel back to the past of Chopper… and learn about how Chopper end up becoming one of the member onboard with Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Robin and Franky… as touching as always… the sad story behind Chopper… the reason he decided to sail across the deep blue sea… it is really a nice movie…

Right from the beginning of the movie, how Luffy and Sanji pass through the hardness of getting Nami to the nearest doctor; how Sanji protected Luffy and Nami from the avalanche; how Luffy giving out all he got just to save Sanji and bringing him and Nami, climbing the high mountain covered by snow just to get them treated by a doctor; how Chopper was saved and trated by the Noob Doctor; how the Noob Doctor chase chapper away and yet Chopper still return to take care of him; how the Noob Doctor wanted to save the country; how the Noob Doctor drink the medicine from Chopper which is actually a poison just to not letting Chopper down… there’re too many of touching moments to list out… and yet this 2 hours movie makes all the miracle happened.

Great movie from One Piece… hope that you guys out there can watch it too… even though you might not be a One Piece fans, but still… I believe you’ll be touched by it…

My heart draws a dream

Well, I like this MV very much. Like the feeling of watching this every time, it’s a nice song and nice MV from L'Arc~en~Ciel, one of my favourite J-pop group. I hope you’ll enjoy listening to this songs an watching this MV too.

At last

At last, my story is completed… check out the link beside under “My Stories” column and read the story if you are interested. Really sorry for taking such a long time to complete it… (for those who did wait for my story of course) I’m glad that finally I’m done with this; actually I already have a new idea for the next story… so slowly wait for it, ok? I’ll start writing the new story after some rest here… maybe some are wondering why I keep on writing stories here… a hobby? Well, not really a hobby of mine, as what I’d said before… I like this kind of things, things that use my imagination. Because I can’t become part of the production crew of a film or animation, so this is perhaps the last way I can use to continue my dream. Hope that my stories will touch you. Kindly leave any comment if you want. This story is kind of fantasy… the next one will be a bit more sci-fi… but still, the main part is the message I’m sending…

Well, who cares what kind of crap I’m crapping here… so, read it if you want. Thank you.

-.- lll

Few days ago I’m chatting with a friend of mine... is a she. Then talk about her being single now, and talk about I’m single too. Well, don’t worry, nothing between two of us. She’s not my cup of tea and I’m not her cup of coffee... anyway, she keep on promoting girls to me and so do I keep on promoting boys for her. And then here comes the deadly blow from her... she said that with my personality, I’ll be able to make a lot of “girl friends”… but a bit hard to get “girlfriend”… I asked her why, and she say she just think like that… that’s what she observed… well, whatever it is… this statement starts to bug me non-stop. As if she is cursing me… but I know just a friend talk, and I’m very welcome such “straight forward and direct” conversation, although it might hurt sometimes, but I prefer to know the truth from people… so, start to think about what she said… indeed… I must say that I really have a lot of “girl friends”… tons of them… but none of them are my “girlfriend”… starts to wonder that maybe what she said was right after all? OMG… maybe I should start to get ready to become a monk in near future… sob sob…

Anyway, single or “double” is not an issue to me anymore… everything just let it be… oh, one more thing she comment about me… she asked me “why I never see you look at girls one when you are free?” and my reply for her is “I only look around to find handsome guy & see how they dress till they look so handsome and try to copy them.” She said I’m abnormal… then I asked her “then you must keep on looking at handsome guys loh?” And guess what she reply me? “Oh, you are wrong! I look at both handsome guy and pretty girl…” Well, who’s the abnormal here… okay, to sum things up, I’m happy that I joined the Japanese Cultural Club and met all these stupid, crazy and yet interesting friends… tons of pretty girls (yes, all occupied) really enjoy my time in the club… and I hope others think the same too…

Windows XP SP3

Well, I don’t know why, but after I download this update and install on my laptop, all sort of problems start to pops up… first is regarding firefox and IE 7… is like out of 100 time I click the shortcut to launch the program, only once I’ll success. Then my Chinese Star and NJ Star are not working after I installed SP3. My laptop, a Core 2 Duo 2.4 GHz machine… hangs at least 2 times per each time I on my laptop… this and that programs stop responding… OMG! Just what the F*** is it for Microsoft to come out such idiotic update for Window XP user? After tired about all this rubbish side effect, I quickly uninstalled the SP3… yes, everything back to normal again… thank GOD… I must be grateful to the Microsoft Company for creating an “uninstall” function together with this SP3, which SP2 doesn’t have… if I’m unable to uninstall the SP3, it means I have to reformat or repair the whole Windows from head to toe… which is a extremely tedious process as everyone know…

Anyway, now everything is back to normal, so I won’t care anything about the Stupid Pack 3 anymore. So guys and girls out there, think twice before you install it… maybe it is just my own software problem, but who knows such thing might happen to you? Nothing special about SP3 anyway, so better to just leave it aside…

私の物語 Ver 1.5

Hehe... nothing special, just change the layout of my blog... give some comment and vote about it in the poll which situated on your right... last time my blog resolution is 1280 in width (for wide screen), now i switch it to suitable for both wide screen and ordinary CRT size monitor... change the blog header picture, some colour scheme, but still maintaining the black background... hope that it is ok and nice looking... i bet i wont make any changes like this in awhile... it's awful lot of work and i can't find any nice template at all from the internet... so end up adjust and edit everything all by myself... tiring of course...

anyway, the story i'm writing is about to finish... just left some final touch... and i'd posted a new "picture blog", so check it out under "My stories" link section... later still got class, but now i'm rushing to complaete my story... hehe... so i'll just stop over here.

Take care guys and girls...

Starting Point of 08/09

School started after settle the registration… my life at Sabah starts to get back to the usual life style… well, whatever it is, I’m now back to here, at this place, in this time, so there’s nothing else I can do beside accept it and go along with it.

Searching for motorbike now, although I’m still not very good at it, but still I need a bike for practice. I hope that I can get one soon. I’ll start to get busy with all my club stuff, just hope I didn’t bring any trouble to others. This semester should be 20 credit hours, I wonder will it burden me or not… anyway, it's been awhile since the last time I'm pack with all sort of works to do, so I hope I'll be able enjoy the fullest from it...

Tioman Trip 1-3July 2008

30 June 2008, 11.30pm

Depart from Pudu by Transnational Bus to Mersing...

1 July 2008, around 4am

Arrive at Mersing Jetty

Waiting for ferry which so-call to depart at 7.30am... so while waiting, those Gamblers start to itch their hands...

There some who is sleeping though... actually only 1... anyway, we then have our breakfast nearby and I bet Mr. Looh Tchuin is still angry about the issue that he was cheated by the shop owner 50 cent...

around 8am, we take the ferry & reach Tioman Island around 10.30am... we port at Salang Jetty and head towards our "hotel" to check-in...

The Salang Jetty...

well... our "Hotel"...

After Check -in and rest, we have our lunch nearby... and after lunch, guess what? Yupe... another rest of course... then some adventurous people suggest to have a jungle tracking... so we depart with 5 people heading towards the starting point... after some staircase, comes the jungle track. And believe it or not, just after awhile... maybe less than 5 minutes? 2 out of 5 people gave up and return... well, the 3 left over "still-adventurous" people continue their long long journey into the deep jungle...

Victory...

well, there's another aunty following us actually, stress out and tired, sweating totally... luckily she made it back with no major troubles...

This is what you'll see at the end of our tracking journey...

Dinner at night... seafood dinner, and after that some rest and gambling continue in our room...

2 July 2008, 10.30am

After breakfast, we depart from our "Hotel" by boat, heading to Genting Bay for 1st snorkeling.

Then Coral Island beach for some rest and lunch

And finally Malang Rock for the last snorkeling.

After some rest, we have our dinner at night... seafood BBQ dinner... after that we went to drink liquor and went back to our room...

3 July 2008

Well, nothing much actually for the next day. Wake up, breakfast, check-out... then we take a ferry back to Mersing and Transnational bus back to KL... reach around 7pm at Pudu and take KTM back to our respective home...

Back at Sabah

Wonder should I use the word “finally” I’m back to Sabah? Whatever it is, I’d finally made it back here and everything will start all over again. I’ll renovate my blog when I have time, and I’ll finish up the story I’m writing and post it as soon as possible. Watch out for my Tioman Trip blog too. Back to Sabah means finally I can use some internet here and MSN non-stop.

How’s my holiday? Well, I don’t know how I should describe it. Wonder is it a good one or not, wonder… and still wondering… I wonder when only I will stop wondering… overall it was OK, just like any other holiday, but feeling that the holiday is slightly too short. Whatever it is, glad that I’d done a lot of things during this holiday, able to meet old friends from primary school to secondary school, able to meet some university’s friend at KL, it’s a nice feeling. But at the same time, a bit disappointed that I didn’t manage to meet some people, do something or complete something which I’d expected to do so during the holiday.

Starting of a new semester, what do I hope for this semester? Well, nothing actually. Just hope everything goes right, no problem with my new roommate, no problem with my laptop etc. just hope can get pass this semester without any major problem in the Japanese Cultural Club, hope that I’ll bring less trouble to people around me, hope that all the problems I’m facing can finally be settle.

All in all… let the word “holiday” being seal for the next 4 months… waiting for the coming holiday to arrive…

End of June

Back from my Tioman Island trip… this is the first blog from me after the trip, but unfortunately this blog has nothing to do with the trip. The blog regarding the trip will be post next time.

Back to the topic, my holiday officially ended after the trip. What awaits me is a dinner with friends and family, and then it’s time for me to fly back to Sabah to continue my third year study of my mechanical engineering course. Thinking back those days during this holiday, I wonder what had I done and what had I achieved so far…

Starting the holiday with an exhausting body, hoping to gain some rest in mind and soul… well, I did able to let my body and mind rest enough. I’d been planning to finish my story writing, it’s almost done, but not yet completed. All the Gundam models that I wish to own had already become part of my collection. Planned to learn how to ride a motorbike this holiday and I somehow manage to know the basic of it, still I need a lot more practice when I’m back at Sabah before I’m able to get myself a license. I’d been hoping that I’ll be able to figure out all the problems and troubles I’d been facing so far, but sadly I didn’t manage to solve any of them… I wonder did I fail to do so, or did I just avoid and neglect them just like that… a lot of things are running in my mind during the long journey home from my trip. I wonder will everything be alright… I’d feel like I’m a total stranger to myself recently… not like those days where I can really define who I am and what I’m up to. But now, I’m totally lost and feeling miserable.

All that I can do is just hope and pray… for the day where things will become better. But I know it from the bottom of my heart that things will never turn good unless I work for it. Sometime things are easy to say but hard to work out. Wonder what I’m up to… wonder what I’m trying to say here… wonder what is going on with me… wonder why I’m acting as someone else… wonder why I’m hurting people around me… wonder why I’m keep on wondering and wondering as things still keep as it is…

Frustrated as I am, after a one and a half month holiday, these are the things I achieved and things that I’d failed to reach. In the end, I’m starting my new semester of study with the same-old-useless-hopeless own self…