Jobless

4th of June, 2013. It's 1pm in the afternoon, and I'm staying home, lying on my bed with nothing much to do. When was the last time I have such a moment on the weekdays. Yes, long time ago, probably some days when I'm on leave, but even when I'm on leave, I'll have to check on emails and answering phone call from time to time. Today, I just got nothing to do, and I don't feel like doing anything either.

Yesterday was a little special and emotional to me, as it was my last day working in my company, a company I started working for since I graduated from University for the past 3 years. Time really flies by so soon that now I'm already 27 years old, standing in yet another junction where I need to make my decision for my life & for my future. 

People asking me whether I'm not happy with my current job. Well, a little, you can't find a job which you can completely satisfy anyway. People are wondering why I'm leaving, and everyone is giving this "surprised" kind of look on their face. I wonder do they expect a person to start working for a company until the day he or she retired. It's not that my current job is not good, it's not that my current pay is low, it's not that my company is treating me bad. It's just me, I have made a bold decision for my life and I'd decided to take on the road not taken. It's that simple.

Some may say that be grateful of what you have now and live your life with what you are given with. I would really like to try living a life style like this, but will I be happy with myself? Maybe not. I'm just not the kind of person that will feel comfortable staying in the comfort zone. Maybe I'm just too young to get myself tied up. There's a whole world out there, it will be a waste if I choose not to explore it right now when I'm still able to do so. I want to test my limit. I want to go beyond the horizon. I want to continue demanding and challenging myself, so that I will continue to grow, to learn and to become a better person. 

And so, I have decided to leave my homeland once again. I know I had some bitter memories in Dubai, therefore this time around I'm heading to somewhere closer to my home, Singapore. I'll try my luck and see if I can survive in this fast pace country, and I'll see how far can I evolve myself to coupe with all the changes in my life. I've spent a lot in renovating my current room, it's a bit of waste to leave it behind, but I know there are sacrifices that need to be made in order for me to move forward.

It's not about the money, it's not about the company, it's just about me who want to live my life to the fullest. I'm sorry if my selfish decision has brought any trouble or harm to anyone. Forgive me, and I wish to receive your blessing to build up my strength and courage to continue live on.