路过。球场

突然怀念起那些年

那球鞋和球场磨擦而发出的声响

那球拍在绑上新的网线后发出的味道

那被汗水湿了又干干了又湿的球衣

那球场上充满激情的呼喊声

那球场边充满欢笑的交谈声

那场内场外充满泪水的锻炼过程

好久没有拿起球拍了

也许人老了，常常腰酸背痛

再加上一次又一次的伤病更是让我开始却步

现在的我，也许就只能够在场边当个旁观者

现在的我，也许就只能回味过去的那段青春

现在的我，未来的我，也许再也没有机会回到球场上了吧…

Today

Sometimes I'll wonder... How long will I be able to remember today. Honestly, most of the time I just barely able to recall about this day not until it's almost here. Anyway, I'm glad that I still remember about it until now.

Maybe it's not that important after all whether or not I remember today as the day. What's important is probably having myself thinking about him once in awhile, remembering the past, dreaming about him, and get the little smile on my face when I do so.

In remembrance.

回家

不知道何时开始，在下班搭巴士回家时，我总会提前一站下车。
省钱？也没差。
当作运动？也许吧。
也许自己不知不觉已经爱上了那段路程的感觉
步行回家，看看周围的人，事，物
放空脑袋，退下一天的烦恼
重新调整自己的思绪
准备让自己回家好好的休息
以便能够面对明天更艰难的挑战...

In the air

It's been awhile since the last time I fly. I like to reach airport earlier, taking some time to stroll around the duty free shop, hoping to discover some hidden gems...

Going home

Going home tomorrow after almost 4 months here in Singapore. Nothing much, just to settle some stuff back in Malaysia, then take a short rest, catch up with some friends, that's all. Hope everything goes well for me for my short holiday.

她们结婚了

她，结婚了。
她，也结婚了。
最近身边的朋友一个接一个结婚了。
同时间，她们也结婚了。
希望她们和她们的另一半有情人终成眷属。
希望她们能够得到幸福快乐。

After 3 months

Been working for 3 months here in Singapore. There are times when I think back my decision for leaving my previous company and job, and come to a different place and a different jobscope. I can still recall my boss asking me whether I know what I want, if not, why not just continue to work until I know what I want. Until today, maybe I still can't be sure on what I really want for my career. Yes, and I believe most of us are the same. But for me, I don't feel regret for leaving. It's not scary to venture into something that you are not sure about, it's scary that if you do not know what you want and yet you did not do anything about it. 

For my new life, I'm starting to get used to it, and slowly I will plan out something to improve it. It's been awhile since the last time I really play my guitar, it's been awhile since the last time I really work on the photography. It's been awhile since I really read through all my books collection. For my new job, there are still a whole lot to learn. I'm lucky to have always been able to work for someone who is willing to teach and share his/her experience. Although I do complain from time to time, at least for now I'm comfortable with what I'm doing, and hopefully I can really gain something out of this. 

Hope that things will become better in the future. Take care all my friends.

也许

也许人就是需要学会爱上自己不爱的，习惯自己不习惯的，接受自己不接受的，才能如其他人一样普通的活着…

她的眼泪

那一天，看见她流下眼泪，但是我却什么也没说出口。一句安慰的话，一个温暖的拥抱，我...只是静静的坐在她的身旁。不知道该说什么才好，不知道该做什么才好。也许我能够说的，就是对不起。如果我不是这样的我，也许一切还会如常。如果我没有来到这里，也许一切还会依旧。现在却让她伤心了，让她哭了，让她失望了。如果能够重来，也许我会处理得好一些，但是结果还是可能会一样吧。过去…让它过去。现在只要专心尽力的不让她再伤心，再流泪，那就好了。

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is my direct boss's last day... I just been working with her for almost 3 months, she is really a good boss. I still can recall the first time she interviewed me, I really thank her for giving her trust on me and short listed me for another round of interview, and ultimately giving me a chance to work in Singapore so soon. There are still a lot of things which I wish to learn from her, but too bad time is just too short. I do wish her all the best in her future endeavour.

This makes me think of last time when I first joined my ex-company, the guy who interviewed me also left, later follow by my direct boss also. Well, maybe I'm the one who carries a curse on those who interviewed me or those who are my direct boss... anyway, for all of them, I do enjoy working with them, and all of them are very knowledgable and how I wish I can spend just a little more time with them to learn more from them.

Anyway, life goes on. Just hope that when the new boss comes, he or she will be a good one, and I can continue to learn from him or her.

Working in Singapore Part 2

Generally there are two types of Malaysian working here, one being those who work here but continue to stay in Malaysia, and those who work here and stay here for as long as they wished. There are significant differences between these two types of people. Their life style, their needs and their problems are all different. 

If you plan to stay in Johor and enter Singapore everyday, you will probably need a car. And you will need to deal with the traffic jam as a lot of people doing the same. So you have to plan your travel time nicely. If you are driving Malaysia car, you will need to pay “entrance fee” everytime you enter into Singapore ($20 per day if I’m not mistaken). If you are PR and driving Singapore car, you don’t need to pay such amount, but you can’t pump RON 95 petrol back in Malaysia. The rest like ERP, parking should be more or less the same, doesn’t matter you are Malaysia car or Singapore car. 

Then if staying in Johor, the rent or installment for your house loan will definitely lower compared to staying in Singapore, as you are earning Singapore dollar and convert it and use it in Malaysia. Same goes to children’s education fee and etc. Sounds good right? That’s why there are many Malaysia staying in Johor and work in Singapore. 

I personally won’t do so as I just don’t want to waste time travelling everyday. Furthermore, Malaysia is simply not safe. I don’t want myself one day being rob or rape or shot by some one for no reason. So, I’ll most likely be joining the later group, those who choose to live in Singapore. 

If one choose to live in Singapore, does it sounds like a bad choice? Not really. As I have mentioned in my previous blog post, the cost of living in Singapore is actually not as high as people are expecting. So if you are renting a room, taking public transport, basically you still get to save quite some money at the end of every month. If you need to buy a car, you will still be able to afford it, but your saving will be less. To own a house… you will probably need to take a little longer. If you are earning a lot, you can just buy private condominium. If not, try to get PR and then buy HDB which is much cheaper than private condominium. 

Why people choose to live in Singapore… well, I haven’t done enough study on this area yet. But based on my personal opinion, I would rather stay in Singapore as over here everything is more… organized, civilized, advanced… and so on. If you need to take care of old family members, the environment in Singapore is more suitable than Malaysia. Everything from clinic, mini market, food stalls are all within walking distance from your apartment. Basically one can virtually survive without even require to rely on public transport just to live the daily life. If there’s anyone who is disabled, again Singapore is friendlier in providing all sorts of support for them. 

If you have children, education system here should be far better as compared to what we have back in Malaysia. The quality is simply no match. So for the sake of development and future of my children, I would rather work harder to earn more money just to get them to school in Singapore than sending them back to Malaysia. Better public transport system, more quality life style (I can easily afford all those branded clothing and gadgets here, but not back in Malaysia)… 

Well, there are thousand of reasons to stay. And of course there are thousand of reasons for those who choose to stay in Malaysia as well. Either way, we are just an ordinary people who want to earn a better living in order to have a better life and improve what we have at the moment. So we have decided to work oversea. Both types of people have their own difficulties and reasons behind the scene that one may not know. To wrap up my 3 days ranting, we choose to work oversea because we want a better life & future. At the moment when we make the decision to leave, we simply have no choice, as there’s no such option in Malaysia at that point of time. So we left, but it doesn’t mean we don’t like our homeland. It doesn’t make any of us to be different from those who continue to stay and work in Malaysia. Ultimately, one should live his/her life to the fullest with no regret. With everyone’s requirement and goal set differently, of course people will get diversify. This is the beauty of human society. If everyone were the same, then it would have been too dull. 

Sorry if I offended anyone in these ranting posts. Sorry for my bad English as I just type whatever comes out from my mind without further thinking and editing. For those of my friends who are in the middle of deciding whether to leave or to stay, hope these posts can give you some help into thinking deeper and making your decision easier. There won’t be a perfect answer and solution. Just do what you think is right and appropriate. Listen to your heart’s whisper. And last but not least, all the best to everyone for your future endeavor.

Working in Singapore Part 1

There are many things I can share about when talking on working oversea. But since the obvious choice for Malaysian to work oversea will be working in Singapore, so I’ll talk a little bit on that. Again, this is just my point of view. You are welcome to disagree with any of it.

There are these myths regarding working in Singapore which people believe in, and ended up going against working in Singapore. So let’s try to clarify them one by one.

1. It’s not worth to stay away from your family 

If you are those who value family more in your life, yes, this statement can be true. But it is not to say that when I work in Singapore, staying away from home, it means I don’t like my family or so. Come on, it’s not that far anyway, if there’s anything one can always drive back or take a flight to get home in the matter of hours. You can always go home during the weekend if you wish. Otherwise, your family can pay you a visit once in awhile. The best of course would be getting your family to move in to Singapore and stay with you together.

2. You are not earning that much anyway 

This is the part that is a little “grey”. First, let’s talk about ringgit vs Singapore dollar. An ordinary Malaysian graduate engineer can at most get paid around RM2800 to RM3000 for their first job. For a school dropper without any qualification, who work in retail store as promoter can get at most $1500, which is around RM3900. See the difference? Of course this is unfair comparison, when talking about your earning, we should always view without looking into the currency rate. So, a typical Singapore engineer job can land you in somewhere around $2600 to $3000. So it seems like what you are earning is more or less the same anyway (considering earning RM3000 in Malaysia and $3000 in Singapore, without taken into account on currency factor). Let’s take a look on the next factor: living expenses.

3. Living expenses in Singapore is very high 

Again I remind you that we are comparing the value of living cost, not the currency conversion. First, let’s look at food: a simple chicken rice in Malaysia cost about RM4.00 (which is a price that’s already dirt cheap and you can hardly find it anywhere). In Singapore, they range from $2.00 to $3.50. I can get it around $2.50 at the stall near my office, which is not within the town center. Already there are savings here. Generally foods are cheaper in Singapore as compared to Malaysia.

Next, clothes or other daily living necessity. You can get long sleeve G2000 shirts at $19 in Singapore, in Malaysia after discount probably you will be getting one at RM40 or RM50. Iphone 5 cost RM2000+ in Malaysia while it is $1000 in Singapore. You can apply a general rule of thumb that the cost of daily necessity in Singapore is half of what you are paying in Malaysia (again, just focus on the value). So, more savings coming in. Sounds pretty good until now? Let’s look at the next big thing in our spending, house and car.

4. You can’t afford to buy house or car 

This is rather a “yes” and “no” question. You can’t afford to buy house or car… hmm, but there are a lot of Malaysians who buy cars and houses here. So it really is depend on your financial ability. It’s not like you can guarantee that you will be able to afford house and car loan in Malaysia anyway, so I’m a bit neutral in this regard.

For sure it is not easy to own assets in Singapore, as the government has tight law in controlling foreigner to purchase property here. Well, at least they care to protect their citizens. In Malaysia, the property price hike like crazy due to those rich fella buying and selling property like nobody business, and the government is doing nothing to control this kind of behavior. So if you really are looking into getting a house and settle down in Singapore, you really should consider getting a PR here (which again, is not that easy to get nowadays). Well, I can’t afford to buy it in Malaysia anyway, so I don’t feel that there’s any great impact on me for now. But for those who plan to have his/her own family and children in near future, this is something that should really be taken into consideration. Just for your record, I saw some advertisement recently for private condominium (outside city center of course) which cost $1000+ per square feet in Singapore, and the last time I saw a new development in Petaling Jaya was calling for RM1000+ per square feet.

So if you rent a room, how much will it cost? A room for two cost around $600 to $800, staying in normal HDB apartment (not within city center of course), usually inclusive of water, electricity, washing machine usage, internet and etc. Well, I don’t think you can get anything that is far cheaper in Malaysia also. So I would call it a tie here.

The price of car in Singapore is actually more or less same like in Malaysia (both countries having high tax for imported cars), just that you need to pay for the COE before you can own a car (which is expensive). So ended up the total cost of ownership is higher. And the tight loan policies making things even worse. Well, again this is something good and bad at the same time. The good is that people will only buy a car if they really can afford it, unlike in Malaysia, one can simply go in a showroom without paying a single cent for down payment and drive a car away in no time… The bad of course will be for those who really need a car but having financial difficulties, things will be almost impossible for them. Well, if you don’t have big head, don’t wear a big hat. I always believe in this Chinese saying and it is really true. I don’t really want to build my life on top of mountains of debt, well, I know it is unavoidable, but at least I want to minimize it as much as I can.

This will lead to another point: why bother getting a car when the public transport in Singapore is so reliable? So if your job does not really require a car for travel purpose, I would suggest you to live with the bus and MRT services. They are reliable, on time and cheap. You can get to almost anywhere within Singapore with them. As a contrast, in Malaysia the public transport is a total mess, rubbish, and yet still cost you so much just to get from point A to point B.

5. The food in Singapore sucks 

This is typically a point given by people (I strongly believe especially people from Penang who always think that whatever “Peneng” is always far superior) who either get themselves to the wrong place eating at the wrong food, or they are just plain picky on food. Generally food in Singapore is acceptable and ok. There are nice food here and there, you just need to find it out and enjoy it.

6. Singaporean kiasi and kiasu, their culture is bad 

Well, I can’t really comment on this, as I also found kiasi and kiasu people in Malaysia. In terms of culture, I would say people in Singapore are more demanding, work pace is faster, they value a lot in your work quality (and complain a lot at the same time, well, who doesn’t complain in this world anyway). So for Malaysian who are used to our “cincai la” or “minum teh” or “slow and steady” culture, you will find it hard to adapt into the working style in Singapore. Well, if you want to work in a “cincai la” way, of course you will get a “cincai la” pay.

Wrap up: 

I haven’t really touch about other cost such as entertainment and etc. Well, generally they are more or less same like in Malaysia, some maybe slightly higher, some maybe lower (depends on what you are interested in), but all in all, they are considered to be acceptable.

So, do I still need to do the math for you on how much you can earn and save working in Malaysia and Singapore? I think you already have a basic idea on it. Please bear in mind that I’m not trying to portray working in Singapore is superior as compared to working in Malaysia or the other way round. I’m just trying to give you a brief idea what you need to consider and start calculating if you are thinking of leaving Malaysia and work in Singapore. As everyone will have different goal in life, different requirement and needs, so in the end one have to factor in everything and make the best decision for himself/herself. And if you don’t plan your financial well, you will end up with nothing, doesn’t matter you work in Malaysia, Singapore, or even you own the Bank Negara Malaysia.

After clearing most of the myths, next time I’ll share a bit on the concerns you need to taken into account before making your decision.  

Working oversea, why?

Recently there are many friends of mine who asked me why I decided to work oversea. Some asked me on some details and they are considering doing the same. Some debated the reason to work abroad. So I decided I’ll just scribble something in my mind here. What I say is just my point of view, it is not a fact or something that one must follow. I just hope at least by sharing what running in my mind during this period of time may helps others to think and decide on their future. 

I must say I’m blessed to be able to work in so many different places in the world for the past 3 years of my career. I’ve been to Italy, Pakistan, Qatar, Oman, Jordan, China, Papua New Guinea and etc for short term business trip, while also working in Dubai for 1 year and now I’m working in Singapore. It’s not hard to find that people works oversea. You can find a lot of Indians working in Dubai, Philippines in Papua New Guinea, Chinese in Pakistan and so on. For some, there isn’t enough job opportunity in their country, so they got no choice but to work elsewhere. For some, they simply need to earn more money to support their family living, and that amount of money will only be possible to be earned if they work somewhere else. 

Spending time talking to them and to understand them during my previous travel really opens up my eyes and mindset. Me, as a Malaysia, there’s enough job back in my homeland, we are not considered to be poor or rich, but at least we are able to earn a living to continue our life. But why many of us choose to work elsewhere or live elsewhere, and we never look back? 

I personally fed up with the politics in my homeland, and with all the ridiculous policies going on which drains all my hard earned income for no reason (actually there is a reason, which is to fill up “their” pockets), I decided to escape from it once and for all. For others, there are reasons such as currency exchange rate, better job opportunity, better offer, better life for their family and etc. Reasons, there’s always one when you need it. But deep into our heart, who doesn’t want to stay and work in their homeland? But we have chosen to do the opposite, this may sound ridiculous to you, but really, we got no choice. 

Of course it is not as easy as it says for someone to decide working oversea. There’s a lot of consideration going on. For single, mainly one will need to juggle between his current commitment (car loan, house loan, parents and family) in his homeland and what he really wants in the end. For those married or planning to married and start a new family in near future, there are more consideration to be taken in. Other than the usual commitment, they’ll need to think about their children’s future as well. It’s not cheap to raise a child, doesn’t matter where you are in the world. 

I’m a single man, currently without any commitment (car loan cleared and I can’t afford a house in Malaysia anyway) other than insurance, my family is not depending on me to survive the day, and I’m not planning to start a new family with children in near future. Therefore, my point of view is simple. I want to work for different jobs, experience different culture and gain as much work experience as possible while I’m still young, energetic and able to do so. When I’ve gained my experience, and I’m comfortable with the place and job I’m in, I will settle down and focus in growing further on my career, and perhaps starting my family. Owning a house is certainly not in my priority list for the moment. 

Some may argue that you won’t get to high position without staying in a company for long enough. This is “yester-year outdated” thinking. Nowadays, seniority is nothing in most company. If you are capable, you will be hired. It’s that simple. Considering the currency factor, this is the time where I can really work hard to earn and save money for my future usage. If I do come back to Malaysia one day, at least my hard earn money will be more valuable. If I don’t come back to Malaysia, at least I’m sure that I’m living a life with better quality elsewhere. 

So, with nothing to lose and everything to gain, I set off on a journey in pursuing what I want in my life, and what my homeland can’t offer. I’ll talk more specifically about working in Singapore next time.

八月尾声

最近工作忙碌，虽然很累，虽然每天加班，但是时间与日子都过得充实。发现大老板的学历也是Technical的，然后现在左右兼顾Service和我们这contract sales部门。突然觉得，啊，将来可以向他那样也挺不错的。除了有技术经验，有拥有商业头脑。从他身上学了不少东西，希望能够继续学到更多吧。好像很久没有尝试过这种满足感了，希望能够继续努力下去，然后有一番小作为吧。

过去

发觉最近的自己常常在缅怀过去
想起小时候穿上的白色校鞋，每个星期洗刷后涂上鞋粉的过去
想起从前在学校里的早晨，每一天都在欢笑胡闹中的曾经
想起大学时候躲在麦当劳里吹着冷气读着书的回忆
也许人老了就会开始缅怀过去
也许人寂寞了就会开始缅怀过去
也许人即将离世了就会开始缅怀过去
想着曾经，回忆过去
许多的甜酸苦辣，情绪顿时涌上心头
偶尔会微微一笑，偶尔会叹气，偶尔会眼湿湿的
也许人是应该在记忆仍然犹新时就开始学习回忆
这样将来才不会把自己的过去给渐渐忘记...

循环与轮回

又一个失眠的夜晚，啊，到底是怎么了

曾经听说过，人生就是一个循环，一场轮回
从出生，成长，成家，立业，年老，离世，这就是一个循环
但是，我觉得人生并不只有这一个循环
人生中有着无数的循环与轮回
现在的我，工作常常加班
突然让我想起了从前的我，在刚离开大学开始工作时也是这样
也许是因为新的工作，新的环境，人比较有冲劲
这样的循环，也许将来还是会从来几次吧？
身边不断的相遇，相识与分开，又是一个不断重复的循环
一买再买的电子产品，衣物等，又是一个没完没了的循环
在这循环中，如何保持自我，如何活出精彩
看来才是大家都在努力修炼的东西
不然，我们将会沦落到成为这循环与轮回中，没有灵魂的躯壳，孤魂野鬼
我也还在努力的修炼着，希望有朝一日，能够得道成仙就好了...

2013年8月。雨

花了一个星期的时间，终于把我的短篇故事写好了。写得有些仓促，所以不要抱太大的期望去看。有兴趣看的可以按这链接去看看，或者可以按部落格上面“私のストーリー”的tab进去浏览。
钢の心

最近工作开始更加忙碌了，还是有许多需要学习的东西，希望可以早日学会吧。这几天不知道为什么就是睡得不太好。希望会快点改善过来。

八月开始，雨就不停的在下。刚好又是七夕和中元节的到来。希望一切顺顺利利就好了。在马来西亚的朋友和亲人们，好好的照顾自己吧。

Settling down...

After 2 weeks here in Singapore... slowly started to settle down with my job and life... although still need some times to get everything straight, but at least things are working out slowly...

Getting used to travelling by bus to work everyday... so far everything seems to be working out fine. It's quite convenient to travel around Singapore by public transport anyway, so nothing much needed to worry about. As of job, currently still slowly picking up the pieces here and there... hopefully will start to really work on my job soon. Relationship with colleagues still need to take some time to build up... other than that I believe I have a good boss to learn from...

Managed to get myself a room... will move in starting August... hope everything will work out fine here as well... guess where's my room...

Got myself a new phone after signing the corporate plan... iPhone package even though got discount, but still a bit expensive for me to buy it for the moment... so I opt for a cheaper Xperia SP instead... this will be my work horse for the moment before... maybe the next iPhone release... we'll see... anyway, I'll put up a short review of this guy next time, so stay tuned...

Bought myself a few stuffs... and slowly there are more things that need to replace... first up I got myself a new water bottle (I can't bring my ex-company's bottle over there...), then got myself a small notepad (I can't bring my ex-company's organizer either...), shirts, pants, socks... the list goes on and on... wallet and shoes are on my waiting list... when things worn out at almost the same time, it really is going to break the piggy bank... hopefully there's nothing more than this for the year of 2013...

Been busy with all sort of things like getting my employment pass, medical checkup & bank account in July due to just moving into Singapore... and will busy with all sort of things as well in the August due to moving into new room... really don't have much time to relax and live a proper life... hopefully everything will start to settle down soon. Then I can start going around taking some pictures, lazying at home continue reading my books, watching all the movies I had downloaded once upon a time, and perhaps start writing my first story this year... so, all in all, hope everything will be fine for me for the days to come... take care for all my friends back in Malaysia.

最近的自己。

最近的自己，感觉上仿佛有些过于急躁
也许是在新环境下的不安
也许是对未来的不知所措
也许是急于证明自己的决定是对的
也许是希望能够尽快安顿下来然后习惯这里的生活
也许我应该暂时放缓自己的步伐
让自己慢慢调整回来后才全力冲刺
希望一切会慢慢的好转吧...

Moving on

Last day, last night, last dinner, last moment

On my bed, looking around my room
Wondering how many times do I need to say good bye to my beloved room
Over and over again

On my guitar, playing my last strum
Wondering how many times do I need to say good bye to my beloved guitar
Over and over again

Updated my blog's template to mark a new chapter of my life
Clear off almost every single things I can ever think about before leaving
I really have no idea about what is going to happen in the future
But still, I'll move on...

Sorry once again, and thank you all once again...