未来的路

经过重重波折，来到了这里
会在想是否是上天给我的指引，让我知难而退
还是上天想给我一个考验，以判定我的坚定心
无论这趟旅程的结果如何
看来我的心已定
这也许真的是唯一的出路吧
但愿一切顺利渡过。

6th of May

Again, there's no song for today, only cries and tears from people of Malaysia. I have always been neutral about politic, and so am I going to continue be. This will probably be my last post about my thoughts of my first (and probably last) general election voting experience.

I belive most of the Malaysian are dying for a change, and they are expecting for a change to come this time around. Honestly, I have never thought of the opposition will win this time, the most they can do is closing the gap and that's it. The outcome is more or less as what I have predicted. And the following things that happened is also just as what I have predicted... People start to call for help from the USA and even the Queen from UK... If we Malaysian are not helping ourselves, are you going to expect others to help you out?

So whether or not the result is legit, I don't really want to debate into that, as I don't know the whole story, so I choose not to comment. But for things that I know and I saw by myself, it really disappoints me. The way the election been carried out, I wouldn't believe this same process has been done for the past 12 times, as the way it operates really doesn't shows any system and discipline. This is the place where I was born, the place I have stayed for the past 27 years, and the place which has independency for the past 56 years, and I really couldn't believe that after such a long way we come, we are still like heading no where.

I can't see a future here, and I can't imagine my future here, which is a very sad thing to happen. I almost didn't sleep for the whole night, thinking about is this really how I would end my life. Something is clear though, I have made up my mind that I'll not be having any children even after I'm married. Honestly, I don't want to send a child to this world having the need to worry about him or her being kidnapped, raped, robbed or killed everyday. I don't want to bring a life to this world and make him or her to suffer what I have suffered.

I love my country, so much that the pain it generates from the love is killing me. I'm seriously looking for a way out, once and for all. Leaving the country is an option, be it for you to call me for running away from the problem but not solving it. When your heart is dead, it will never come to life again. Staying and continue to fight is another option, but how long can I continue to stand and fight, I wonder...

Sorry my beloved Malaysia, I have tried, maybe not tried my best, and maybe not tried hard enough. Sorry for the pain you are enduring now, as I am enduring the same with you for all my life. I really hope that one day I can stand proud to tell everyone I'm a Malaysian, as for now... I'm still fighting to make this dream come true...

5th of May

No, there's no song for 5th of May, but there's a whole lot of emotion coming inside of me. Today will be the day for Malaysia's 13th General Election for our coming state and country parliament candidates,  and I'll be one of them who are going to cast my vote later on.

Honestly, I really have no idea which side to vote for, whether the current government or the opposition. For me, it doesn't really matter, as either side has shown their good and bad, in ends up as a selection of the less evil among the evils, which sound like a little meaningless to me at the very beginning. I have thought of not casting this meaningless vote. But after deeper thoughts, I have decided to proceed to the polling station later to execute my duty as a Malaysian.

This will probably be the first and my last vote for my beloved country, so I have to really make this count. There has been all sorts of news, bad news, regarding this election day. We, the helpless citizen, what can we actually do to stop those evils if things really turn to the worst during the election process, I wonder. I hate politics for my whole life, none of the politicians can be trusted, this is what I managed to learn thus far, but at the same time I do learnt that there are still hope for Malaysia, because we, the Malaysians, doesn't matter you are Chinese, Indian or Malays, share the same feeling of love to our country.

I'm seriously thinking about my future, and I believe I will be able to see it after this election. It doesn't really matter to me who will win in the end, but is the whole process that matters, which will either make my love to my country to grow deeper, or tear my heart apart until I'm totally giving up on her.

1 more hour to go. Finger crossed, sending my prayer and wishes to my beloved country. Be strong, as you have been for the past 55 years, may God gives you strength to sail through the coming waves. Take care and all the best for those who are casting your vote today.

First of May

每年的今天，都会让我想起这首歌
很喜欢这歌词，总觉得很有意思
有很多歌手唱过这首歌，个人比较喜欢藤田惠美的版本
四月过去了，吉他进展普通，学会了一首新歌
五月还是会尽量练习多一些
之前打算五月专注摄影，现在还是先押后这计划
五月将专注阅读，也许六月才开始专注摄影吧
五月的第一天，就让自己仿佛一整天都沉醉在这首歌曲的旋律里吧！